After a stopover in Savannah the previous night, we made it into Myrtle Beach the following afternoon. We stopped in on our room to lecture Beth on the finer points of empathy, consideration, and not using your feet to push off on the side of the car to gain leverage against your father in obtaining more of the space in the back seat. From there we went to Planet Hollywood. Yes, they have one here too. We didn’t heed the first warning, that the Hard Rock Cafe next door had an hour wait and Planet Hollywood’s was ten minutes. No, [...]
Travel
Livin’ large in Jacksonville
This is my first, live update from a remote location (re: hundreds of miles from home – home is where the server is after all). Ah, but the fun ends in about fifteen minutes. Then I have to do what I’ve been paid to do, do some work. Where’s the fun in that? While not exactly fun, it may be interesting, seeing what the same state agency does in a different part of the state. Alright, maybe not THAT interesting,
A water logged adventure
There is a place, deep in the heart of Tampa’s urban wilderness, where the locals go to cool off. Like an oasis in the midst of desert wasteland, it is a place filled with life. It is also a place of death defying falls, unrelenting surf, and the never-ending smell of Coppertone. This place has a name, and its name is Adventure Island. Theme parks are a place where even the hardiest native Floridians can wither and perish during the summer months. They can have the fun cooked right out of them, leaving behind a scorched, dried out husk. But [...]
Catching up to the queue
Since all events are now measured in terms of how they relate to my rash, this tale is right smack in the middle of Genesis – based on the events of three weeks ago. In the beginning his skin was void of blemishes or imperfections, and the Lord said, “let there be a rash,” and there was a rash, and it was most assuredly not good. On the second day the Lord said, “let he on whom I’ve bestowed this rash go to Busch Gardens,” and he went to Busch Gardens, and that too was not good. Later that same [...]
Forgive me Father for I am about to sin
There are a slew of unfinished entries in the queue, but this one is begging for the front of the line. This weekend found the Kauffman family spending some holiday cheer in our nation’s (vacation) capital. My in laws are good Catholics, and I try to be a good son-in-law, so we all went to mass. It started out as a nice piece of ecumenical pie. When I step in a church I don’t typically see a particular religion’s house, I see God’s house. Believe it or not, I try really hard not to look down my nose on other [...]
Playing the broken record
On Sunday we went to Sea World for a little family fun time. If you like it when circumstances tempt all of your shortcomings as a parent and a husband, then you would have had a great time. Adam’s nose started to run. Then Adam’s temper started to run. Then Beth’s mouth started to run. Then my patience started to run. Then everyone should have run. I can’t put my finger on the precise moment when Orlando became Bataan, but if the day had lasted much longer then Adam might have been up for a field promotion. Fortune smiled on [...]
Something wicked this way comes
The other day one of my coworkers was extolling the virtues of the Interstate Highway phenomenon known as the Cracker Barrel. Personally, I don’t think the Cracker Barrel is “all that.” In fact, I think there’s something seditious about the whole thing. How could a good, wholesome establishment for good old-fashioned home cookin’ be cast in with the likes of commie bastards? To be honest, I don’t really know. My gut just tells me there’s something not right with that place. My coworker suggested that it’s the attached “country shop” that rubs me the wrong way, and that being a [...]
Drive time entertainment
Yesterday afternoon I was driving behind a clunky, beat up, fire-hydrant red, 1972 Chevy P.O.S. (Now available with matching driver.) Just picture the guy given chase by Michael Douglas and Karl Malden to complete your mental picture. He was driving beside a small, clean, 1998 Mitsubishi Galant (with matching female driver). The driver of the P.O.S. was beckoning to the other driver like he was trying to coax a scared cat out from under the bed. This went on for several minutes until finally the Galant slowed down and pulled in behind the P.O.S. Why am I telling you this? [...]
Somewhere in Nashua, NH,
Three days ago I had no intention of being anywhere other than at home right now. Yesterday I figured I would be sitting in Cheryl’s grandparent’s house right now. Now I find myself sitting on a “full” sized bed in a motel situated on the New Hampshire / Massachusetts border. I hereby resolve to suspend any and all expectations for the duration of the week.
Somewhere over northern Florida,
There are times in your life when you wish you were doing something else. Sitting for the SATs, sitting in a dentist’s examination chair, sitting for a lecture from your angry wife, and sitting in a busy airport with the other hurricane refugees, are all such times. Now, however, I’m sitting in the back of a small noisy jet, next to a small noisy child. The fact that this child is my own is little consolation. Fortunately, the Game Boy has had it’s hoped for effect – namely, it has reduced the overall noise level of the cramped cabin significantly.
