Parenting is hard. For some, this is obvious. For others suffering denial, this is a sign of a severe character flaw. For a blessed few who’s beatification awaits them at their death, who’s names will be remembered in song and psalm for all time, this is an inconceivable truth. God did us this one favor – he made these people rare. This is not to say parenting is without its rewards. If it was, Homo sapiens sapiens would have died out long ago (no mater how much fun getting there was/is). This little post is for all of you out [...]
kids
Life changes
Catching up… How long has it been since my last post with substance? By any measure it’s been a while, so I thought I’d bring you up to speed on my life (a melodramatic adventure sure to keep you reclined in your seat). If you want to skip the whining, I don’t blame you. Skip down to where it says: “The Good Stuff.” Relative to my life, there’s a lot of change going on these days. They’re the kind of changes you see coming months down the road, so there isn’t any shock involved. I don’t consider myself afraid of [...]
My boy
Adam still likes stuffed animals. We thought he might outgrow this “faze” by the time he started kindergarten. He hasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this is not something that disturbs me in any way. In fact, it’s just the opposite. It reflects his personality – a sweet, sensitive kid. Often he’ll notice I’m not feeling too well, and without a word he’ll leave a surprise for me by my pillow. Tonight it’s a soft little white bunny to keep me company – to make me feel a little better. He won’t mention it afterwards. It’ll disappear one night, only to [...]
We’ll call him Billy
The stop sign just up the street from our house does more than control vehicle traffic. It controls a little piece of my kids’ lives. A stop sign should add an element of predictability to the cars passing by. It should slow them down. It should make drivers more aware of pedestrians and the kids who swarm the neighborhood. It doesn’t. If anything it makes traffic less predictable. If we lived on a straight stretch of neighborhood road, with no impediment to travel at all, you could count on fewer variables. In fact, it would be quite simple. Cars would [...]
A little pinch of pain
Cheryl is with Adam today at the Magic Kingdom, outside of Orlando. Around here this is nothing special, particularly for the last year. A little over a year ago we cashed in a few years of reward points on our Chase Disney Visa Card and bought annual passes. The kids have loved it. It’s meant almost unlimited Disney. We’ve used every discretionary dollar to indulge their inner mouse, doing several character breakfasts/dinners – where you and a select group of diners sit, relax, eat pretty decent food, and hug the Disney characters as they walk around having fun with the [...]
Back seat passenger
You’ll be happy to know I’m a passive passenger (or maybe you won’t care). It’s an irrefutable fact. I am every driver’s dream. I do not speak unless spoken to. I am blessed with innate, directional savvy, but I only share it upon request. Most importantly, I am willing to travel in the back seat. Not only am I willing, it was my idea. Increasingly, our thirteen year old and our six year old don’t travel well together. The tension comes from pretty common sibling stock. Longer drives are filled with territorial disputes, arguments about the first amendment (and wether [...]
The kids
What can I say? Both my kids continue their run of academic stardom. It feels like a source of (partial) absolution for my personal failings, seeing my DNA has some value. Beth continues to excel, outpacing all the other kids in her class. I just wish it brought her peace. While it was an asset when she was the oldest kid last year (her small school has mixed grade classrooms), there’s a different dynamic being the youngest. She still finishes before everyone else, and she still wants to help the other students who are having trouble. However, unlike the younger [...]
Trial, tribulation, and error
A few weeks ago, heresy showed it’s ugly face in the Kauffman household. Evil found a foothold in one of my vulnerable children. By now you know that when I speak of heresy I’m speaking of one thing: computers. Beth asked for a cheap Windows laptop. In the name of Jobs, The Woz, and The Lost Partner, I beseech you: where have I gone wrong? Because my parents were over at the time, my dad in particular, the collective shudder was almost enough to bring down the roof, bringing this insanity to a tragic end. This has nothing to do [...]
Back to Disney
Another Friday of fatigue. Another drive to Orlando. Another day in the world that Walt built. My sister called on Thursday to warn us about the epidemic of colds working its way through the house. The implied message: “John comes at his own risk.” But when have I ever given in to good sense? We hit the parks with my standard equipment: a big floppy hat, sunglasses, my Nikon, and my afternoon meds. The day started with a textbook example of gluttony. It was an all you can stuff in your gut “character breakfast” at the Contemporary Resort known as [...]
Adam bomb
Maybe it’s his small body. Maybe it’s just hardwired into a four year old boy. Adam is showing an early flair for maneuvering, pattern recognition, and tactics. I think he’s worked out every long approach to a padded landing in the house. “Adam, no running!” comes out of my mouth on autopilot, like “God bless you” when someone sneezes. It comes out a fraction of a second before his body makes impact. Sometimes I’m the target. Sometimes it’s a piece of furniture, or an unsuspecting (large) stuffed animal. He is afraid of the dark, but he’ll run across two rooms [...]
