Kitchen Sink

Making the bed.

In Thirty odd years I’ve never had any major problems with the laws of physics while making my bed. On Saturday I expected this trend to continue. I was attempting to spread the top sheet across the bed in the time tested fashion: I stood at one end of the bed, grabbed hold of one end of the sheet, and in one continuous motion I threw my arms out in front of me then pulled the end of the sheet up and towards myself. The throwing out motion tosses the other end of the sheet towards the other end of the bed. The up and in motion catches air under the sheet like a sail and helps spread the sheet out across the bed. What usually happens next is the sheet gently settles down on the bed. This time, however, it did not. It went up but it did not come back down. You see, this time I was doing this from the foot of the bed. Every other time I can remember doing this it was from either side. The draw back of doing this from the foot of the bed is that you must stand more or less directly underneath the motor of our ceiling fan. Unintentionally, and without looking, I deftly hung my top sheet on the ceiling fan in one swinging, graceful and continuous motion. One of the blades was pointing out directly over the bed and the sheet gathered up on it like it was meant to be there. Having so expertly hung the sheet up there you would think that I could take it down just as easily, wouldn’t you? Think again my friend. In that one swinging, graceful and continuous motion I managed to hook the sheet around two different protruding surfaces on the fan blade, making it necessary for me to climb up on a chair and unhook the sheet. All in a days work.

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I'm sorry but I can't sum me up in this limited amount of space. No, I take that back. I'm not sorry.