My daughter has a peanut allergy, which means we have no peanut products in our house. I like eating peanut products, which means I do without a lot. This morning I was hungry. Not an “I could use a little something to snack on” hungry; more like an “all you can eat buffet, eat until you puke” hungry. Normally I would snack on a couple of saltines, but that would not do today. No, not only was I hungry but drowsy as well. No, I needed the holy trinity of GO food: sugar, caffeine, and corn syrup. Cocoa, various artificial colors, artificial flavors, fillers, and fats also round out the mix; but those are the inactive ingredients, there solely to enhance the consumption process.

Yes, it was time for a junk food run.

I made my way to the junk food dispenser in our office break room. There it was, staring me in the face, the perfect vehicle for killing three birds with two stones: a Butterfinger and a Mountain Dew. On the first pass, John popped the Mountain Dew, tossed it back, savored those artificial flavors, and it was good. On the second pass, John ripped open the Butterfinger, devoured it, and it was good.

I haven’t had a Butterfinger in a while, so I’d forgotten my excavation equipment (for cleaning the hardened remnants from between my teeth); but it was still worth it. Now I’m ready for the rest of the day. Bring it on.