It is the middle of the afternoon and I am taking advantage of my fifteen minute, after lunch break. This is a rare occurrence. I’m taking advantage of this time granted to me by my employer to think about what I want to do tonight. This is not normally a concern on a Wednesday afternoon, but then this is not my ordinary Wednesday afternoon. Today has some extra significance. No, I’m not planning to celebrate the founding of the first permanent British settlement in North America (Jamestown, May 14, 1607), the proclamation of Israel as an independent state (May 14, 1948), the birthday of George Lucas (May 14, 1944), the inauguration of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (May 14, 1980), the signing of the Warsaw Pact (May 14, 1955), the opening of first Olympic games to be held in the U.S. (May 14, 1904), the crowning of King Louis XIV of France (May 14, 1643), or the launch of Skylab (May 14, 1973).
No, this is something more personal, my wedding anniversary.
Cheryl asked me yesterday if I wanted her mother to babysit Beth so we could go out and do something tonight. I said, “sure.” That was the end of the discussion. Now we have to figure out what we’re going to do. I suppose it’s possible that Cheryl has something planned. She can be a sly devil at times, and it wouldn’t even be the first time (on an anniversary or B-Day). But there’s also the possibility that she doesn’t have anything planned. In that case, we’re in serious danger of contracting K.I.S.S. (Kauffman’s Indecisive Standstill Syndrome). You don’t know what indecisiveness is until you’ve been with us at a family get together and we’re trying to decide what to do for dinner. It’s a process that can take hours. The problem tonight is that we don’t have that kind of time. One, it’s a school night. Two, it’s a work night. (Sure, one and two kind of go together, just work with me here.) But perhaps most importantly, tonight is the season finale of “The West Wing” – cue up the dramatic theme song – “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!” Sure, we’re living proof of the decline of western civilization, but we offer no apologies. We must be home for T.V. Maybe we’ll drive around for a few hours, then in a frustrated panic stop by the Taco Bell drive thru at 8:52 p.m. to pick up a family pack of heart attack. (Tacos with all the calories and cholesterol you care to ingest. Is it me, or is Taco Bell the least healthy fast food joint in the known universe?)
Happy anniversary Cheryl.
(**All dates provided by the Associated Press.**)