One foot, two feet.

There is a great debate raging in my own mind. I can’t decide where I stand on what could well be the greatest dilemma facing mankind in the twenty-first century: “is it O.K. to walk around the office without shoes on?” I’ve said this before… like all great questions in life, the answer is definitely: “it depends”. How much do your feet smell when disrobed? How isolated is your work space from your coworkers? How is the air circulation? If your feet smell, does it tend to dissipate or linger?

I must say that I was a bit shocked when I saw one of my coworkers walking about the office in socks for the first time. I wasn’t angry or indignant, just surprised. You come to work expecting certain things. I’ve come to expect that everyone will be wearing shoes. Now my expectations have changed. Shoelessness has spread through our office like a bad odor. Suddenly every other person is walking into my office sans footwear. Now I must admit that my shoeless coworkers don’t really have any unpleasant odors under foot (as far as I can tell – I’m not putting my nose where it doesn’t belong). It doesn’t really bother me that they are exposing the carpet to their bare feet. Come to think of it, I’m rather envious. I couldn’t do that without tying a couple of air fresheners to my feet, and then I would have defeated the whole purpose of shedding my shoes in the first place. Maybe it should be a matter of fairness. What was it that my fourth grade teacher said, “unless you’ve got enough for everyone then no one gets any.” If those of us with smelly feet can’t experience the joy of air under our arches then no one should.

Come to think of it, I didn’t like my fourth grade teacher very much. I think I may just keep this one to myself.