“This is Bright House Networks, how can I help you?”
“I’m having a problem with my cable box.”
“What kind of problem are you having with your cable box?”
“I can’t watch cable TV.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
“This is where I’m supposed to describe my problem?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I turn on the TV and I see a message that says, ‘Your EXPLORER set top is NOT AUTHORIZED for use….”

blah, blah, blah

“Sorry to keep you on hold for so long, it appears the problem is that your cable box is lost.”
“Well you’re in luck, I found it.”
“Ah, yes, Mr. Kauffman. We’ll need to have the administrative folks reclaim it tomorrow morning.”
“Will this be a physical reclamation?”
“Sorry?”
“Will someone have to come out to our house, or is someone just going to update your records on your end?”
“Someone will just have to update our records.”
“But they can’t do it until tomorrow morning?”
“I’m sorry, but they’ve all gone home.”
“And they left you behind?”
“Ah, they’ll be in first thing tomorrow to fix your problem. We sincerely apologize for your inconvenience.”

All right, I admit that I embellished a little bit of it, but not as much as you may think. Our cable box really is “lost”. I really can be that big a pain in the hind quarters. Who would have thunk it?
You are not allowed to respond Christy.