“Nurse! Turn that DAMN TV off! Can’t you see it’s killing this man!”

“But it’s the Stanley Cup playoffs!”

“I don’t care Lord Stanley got a sex change and is marrying Elvis, TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!”

“Wait! The Flyers just pulled their goalie! … Tampa just scored on the empty net!”

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.