An important component of the Kauffman household’s (version 2.2) fiscal responsibility is its balance of powers. We have what you might call a bi-camel financial office. (Others might call it being considerate, being responsible, or being married.) Proposals for spending may originate from either side, but must ultimately be approved by both sides before they can be enacted.

Case in point: I really wanted to blow my wad on an iPod. I could almost feel the smooth, light-weight piece of Apple magic in my hands. I could imagine being newly enshrined among the “hip elite.” I could feel my status among my peers inflating just looking at the price list. As a trial balloon, I shocked my wife with the following statement, “well, today I went ahead and ordered an iPod.”

“NO YOU DIDN’T!”

As trial balloons go, that was a pretty much a complete failure. Fearing an upset of our fragile financial treaty, I quickly copped to my deception and revealed my ploy. I didn’t really buy an iPod.

“John, you know I’m proud of you, but we spent that bonus money two years ago.”

What I need is a new constitution; my own declaration of indepence. I should throw off the shackles of responsibility and live for today! GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

“John, just what the hell are you talking about?”

Ah well, I didn’t want an iPod that badly anyway. At least I’ll have more ammunition when she decides she wants to paint the baby’s room again. I may have lost the battle, but at least I won’t be painting any time soon. Don’t tell Cheryl, but that may have been the plan all along. Am I really that devious? If I were, would I admit it here? These questions and more will continue to be unanswered, but you are free to speculate.