Good afternoon boys and girls, my name is Mr. Kauffman and I’ll be your instructor in Advanced Driving Techniques. We’re going to jump right in this afternoon, but first I wanted to start you off with a little primer.

The most important, least understood, and most rewarding concept in advanced driving techniques is watching where you are going. That’s right – I’m talking about pointing the little windows to your soul in the direction of travel. Sound simple? You’d be surprised. I’ve seen a lot of things in my seventeen years of advanced driving, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that being a watchful driver is a lonely experience. Slowly pulling out of a parking space, watching another driver pull out across from you without looking (after you are already half way out), stopping short to give the nincompoop plenty of room, and seeing that driver come within a hair’s breath of delivering you unto insurance purgatory before looking up with shock and blowing their horn AT YOU, is just one of the many trials awaiting you in the asphalt jungle. Even Job would be tempted to throw a little rage around, yet you are going to be expected to turn the other cheek. Still think it will be easy? Call me when you pop your first blood vessel and we’ll talk.