When I was growing up I always wanted to be a designer of retail packaging. What child didn’t? My idol was Timothy Foil, the inventor of the microwave crisper. Genius. Yes, when other kids were playing with their Matchbox cars I was daydreaming about “easy-open” child proof pill bottles and microwave safe packaging for Chef Boyardee. Now I’m sitting in my cozy office with a view, eating from an insulated, single serving package of Quaker Oatmeal (cinnamon bun flavor), dreaming about what could have been.

Where did I go wrong?

(The preceeding entry is a fictional account of my youth, presented here for no particular reason.)