• Breaking things

    I had an embarrassing moment a while ago. I’ve had lots of embarrassing moments, but I’ve decided to limit this post to the one. We were taking Adam out for a practice run on his Christmas skates, and I laced up mine to show him how it was done.

    But I didn’t get very far.

    Instead of gliding down the driveway, leaning into an exhilarating tight turn onto the sidewalk, and powering down the hill towards Adam and Cheryl, I did none of the above. My skates stopped beneath me just moments after I got started.

    Do you know anything about momentum, and if so is there a cure?

    There’s usually a lot of small debris in our driveway, especially this time of year, so I wasn’t surprised – as much as I might have been. However, I was surprised when my skates refused to roll with my next few steps. That’s when I noticed the new debris on the driveway: little pieces of my wheels.

    Thoughts:

    1. Damn, that’s peculiar.
    2. Damn, that sucks.
    3. Damn, I haven’t gained that much weight, have I?
    4. I guess polywhatsitcalled doesn’t last forever after all – not in it’s originally molded shape anyway.

    Actually, the weight’s trending down these days. I felt it was important you know that.

    Obviously, the catastrophic failure of my wheels ended our joint skate real quick. My enthusiasm for the day crumbled faster. I’m like a little kid that way. I was looking forward to one thing and nothing else measured up. Plus, there was my poor boy Adam to think about.
    Was he going to grow up skating alone?
    Was he going to blame me?
    Would he carry this disappointment – this abandonment – through the rest of his life?
    Would he have trust issues that would end relationships prematurely, leading to a lifetime of self-imposed isolation and loneliness?

    So you know what I HAD to do. I got a new pair of skates, which itself is an unusually long story.

    Unusually long, you ask? Don’t you dare laugh.

    Fast forward to this weekend. Adam and I have had a marvelous time skating around the neighborhood the last couple weeks, and all of my fears for Adam’s future have subsided. But I was getting a little too comfortable – a little too confident in my skillz. After an abbreviated yet marvelous skate on Monday, I was waiting outside while Adam went in the house to replace a newly shredded pair of warm-up pants for shorts. I was barely moving. I was on the sidewalk. I was right outside my house in peaceful Dunedin.

    Now that I think about it, all the signs of disaster were right there. If only I could have seen them.

    First a wheel got momentarily stuck in the gap between our cement driveway and the cement sidewalk. (Damn you cement and your cursed expansion joints!) One moment I was waiting patiently for my son… the next I was doing the “loosing my footing on skates dance.” It’s not a catchy name, but we’ve all been there, right?If you haven’t, you’re probably lying. But if not, then picture a guy with a tall furry hat dancing at an eastern European wedding. Time slowed down as I saw all my dignity flash before my eyes. Then time sped back up, I fell heels over head backwards, and threw my hands backwards to break my fall – hoping there was no irony in that last thought before gravity finished with me.

    We know that God does have some sense of humor because children always catch us in these (hopefully) rare moments of excellence.

    “Dad! Are you ok? That was GREAT!”

    Adam, as your parent I feel obliged to tell you sixty-seven percent is not a passing grade in school when you get older.

    I didn’t break anything but skin, but it really hurt. I did learn something though. You may never forget how to ride a bike, but you can forget how to fall off a pair of skates. That, or falling hurts more than it used to.

    But fear not my friends! Adam came down to meet me (sprawled on the sidewalk), and we eventually finished our skate. With one exception, it was a great skate.

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  • Life changes

    Catching up…

    How long has it been since my last post with substance? By any measure it’s been a while, so I thought I’d bring you up to speed on my life (a melodramatic adventure sure to keep you reclined in your seat).

    If you want to skip the whining, I don’t blame you. Skip down to where it says: “The Good Stuff.”

    Relative to my life, there’s a lot of change going on these days. They’re the kind of changes you see coming months down the road, so there isn’t any shock involved. I don’t consider myself afraid of change, but I am saddened by some of them.

    Seeing it comimg, I’ve spent the last several months feeling a little melancholy.

    Nothing is changing as much as work. Just about everything is changing except the person signing my checks. No, work isn’t my whole life, but I do spend a lot of my life at work. I’ve worked with my team for almost seventeen years.

    Dear Lord, seventeen years. In many ways I don’t feel far removed from being seventeen. Working for a single employer this long seems unheard of, let alone within the same organizational unit. Maybe change is overdue.

    We’ve changed some in that time. No organization goes completely unchanged for that long. I’ve been promoted, we’ve changed locations, and our team’s responsibilities have evolved. But this week we’re essentially blowing the whole thing up and starting over. (Looking at the big picture, this will be a good thing for the people we serve). Me and most of my coworkers (some for the entire 17 years) will scatter to the winds.

    These folks have been my friends, counselors, mentors – my family – for a long time. I’ll miss them all terribly.

    Speaking of work, our health insurance is changing, though not to the extend things are at the office. This is (hopefully) a tweak to our coverage – another move by state leaders to balance the budget on the backs of those with little political pull. It appears nothing of consequence is changing, but healthcare is one place I DO fear change.

    Speaking of insurance, we were dropped by our homeowner’s insurance provider – like many of our fellow Floridians. We’ve never made a claim, our property has never been damaged by storms (from the time our house was built), we’re not in a flood zone, and we’re at a relatively high elevation for living on the world’s largest populated sandbar. (Note: I don’t know if that’s in any way true.) Gosh darn it, we’re good people too!

    Like many Floridians, this leaves us at the mercy of the insurer of last resort: a semi-public organization that until recently was forbidden by state law to charge less than the private competition. (I think there are still some restrictions, but until now I’ve had little reason to pay close attention.) Heaven forbid! That’s right: even if all the private insurance companies in Florida didn’t want our business, the state is forbidden to do it cheaper – even if it could.

    It gets better. State leaders, under the guise of “doing something about rising insurance rates,” did what good Republicans do best: they made it easier for big business to fuck us. Insurance companies are no longer required to provide sink hole coverage as part of a standard homeowner’s policy. Of course they can write separate policies for sink hole coverage at rates dictated by “The Free Market (R).” The best part of this is we’ll be paying twenty-five percent more for coverage without the sink hole coverage.

    Three cheers for the Florida Legislature!

    Some of you may be wondering, “why should folks be forced to buy sink hole coverage?” Some of you may wonder why we’re required to carry auto insurance if we drive. Some of you may wonder why it “only takes one time” to have a child.

    OK, that wasn’t fair. Even many Floridians don’t know why we have sink holes in Florida. Google “karst topography” and/or the Florida Aquifer. You’ll find a much better explanation than I could give. For now, just take it on faith – we get a lot of sink holes in Florida. Not having sink hole coverage is like not having collision insurance for the left side of your car.

    Actually, that’s probably not fair to auto insurance. Claims involving sink holes are the most common among all claims on homeowner’s policies in Florida. (In the interest of full disclosure I’m not sure that’s true.) I’ll bet cars are stolen or rear-ended way more often than they take a driver’s side T-Bone.

    Yeah, WAY!

    Anyway, that’s all I have in the way of self-pity for now. That wasn’t too bad was it?

    ** – – The Good Stuff – – **

    The good news is the depression has been mostly under control for a while now. I’ve had little tastes here and there, but it’s been short term stuff – not the weeks/months of hopelessness that have consumed me in the past. I don’t like drugs, but I like depression a LOT less.

    The leukemia remains in the shadows. It’s not in remission, but it hasn’t been for two years now. We’re still waiting for the symptoms to be worse than the cure, and we’re still not close.

    Now THAT’S chronic baby!

    Beth is continuing her tear through high school. She brought home yet another semester of straight A’s this month. It’s getting to the point I can’t remember when she last got something other than an A. In fact, she was exempted from mid-terms for her efforts, so she got extra time tacked onto Christmas Break.

    This is where Cheryl tells you I can’t remember this morning, so don’t be too impressed.

    If Beth is on a tear, Adam’s using a wrecking ball. I think I’ve signed (maybe) two tests where he missed one question since he started first grade in August. Part of me worries it’s too easy – that what he’s primarily learning is he doesn’t have to try.

    Leave it to me to worry after only a few months of first grade – because his grades are TOO good.

    Cheryl and I started doing things without the kids again, thanks to slave labor Beth’s increasing maturity and responsibility. It’s been a long time since we did things together on a regular basis – too long. We’re fixing that now.

    It’s my favorite time of year in Florida. We can go outside without a gallon of fresh water for every hour we’re out. It’s not as cool as I’d like, but it is still Florida. We’ve been skating, hiking, walking, and generally enjoying outdoor life.

    Where ever you are, I hope you’re getting plenty of chances to enjoy life too.

  • Friends

    You may take them for granted. I try not to – I can’t afford it, having so few of my own. It makes my absence from this space and others like it self destructive.

    This year I’ll try to keep my head out my but. I’ll try to think about other people more than myself. I’ll try to give more than I receive. I’ll try not to let politics and current events have the final veto on my mood.

    Fate isn’t waiting patiently in line to help, but I’ll try not to use it as a crutch – or an excuse.

    Speaking of friends, a BIG thanks goes out to a friend I won’t name… we’ll just call him Butch. Adam has a project for Cub Scouts: building a “pine wood racer.” You start with a block of pine, four wheels, and turn it into car that will roll down a slotted track. Done right, it will get to the bottom of the track before at least some of the others.

    Well, you may not know this about me, but I’m not a master carpenter. I’m not the lumber whisperer. I’m competent (sort of) with a hammer, drill, and saw, but you’ll never look at my work with anything approaching awe. So a block of wood representing a car’s potential is pretty intimidating.

    Enter Butch. He’s the man with the skillz! Thanks to my friend, both my kids have really cool cars.