• Planned obsolescence

    In the halcyon days of the 109th Congress, the Energy Policy Act of 2005 was passed. Believe it or not this bill does more than just cut taxes and increase federal spending. It also makes many of your appliances with a built-in clock obsolete.

    How does a Federal Energy bill accomplish this feat? Elementary dear reader… it changes the effective dates for daylight savings time starting in 2007. Specifically, if you don’t TURN OFF the option to automatically change the time for DST, you’re going to be changing your clock’s time FOUR times next year… first, when DST actually takes effect (the second Sunday in March); second, when your clock changes the time when IT THINKS DST begins (the first Sunday in April); third, when your clock thinks DST ends (the last Sunday in October); and fourth, when DST actually ends (the first Sunday in November).

    Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good case of jet lag as much as the next guy… but DST isn’t my cup of Joe. I’m already disappointed with my Joe this morning. I bought a bag of whole bean Folgers that’s supposed to be “select.” If by “select” they mean the beans were grown in the run-off from a chemical plant then they’ve hit the nail on the head. I love a cup of coffee that conjures the image of a peaceful morning on a plant floor at Dow/Corning.

    So I’m drinking a cup of coffee that tastes like an industrial adhesive smells, I’m waxing sentimental about my last old-school, DST time change, and I’m sitting at work on a Monday morning.

    Pardon me if I’m a little grumpy.

    **Author’s note: coffee beans ARE NOT a good place to save money on your grocery bill.

  • Stealing God’s word

    If Jesus were around today, do you suppose he would be a copyright lawyer? I hope not, because I’m engaged in a little project that I’m almost ashamed of… I’ve been copying the text of my preferred interpretation of the Bible from an online source… with the aim of converting the plain text into a formatted e-book on my Palm OS device. I’m only copying it for my own use, so I don’t plan to distribute, share, sell, or profit from this enterprise. However, I’m not sure the owners of the web site would consider this an example of authorized copying.

    This is where I apply a heaping helping of rationalization… my best friend.

    I could read this online Bible on my Palm, on the web, at home – anyway (even if I didn’t copy it to a durable source on my Palm). The problem is that my Palm uses more power when it’s connected to the internet, shortening it’s battery life. Who’s the victim if I save the text to my Palm so I don’t use so much power. It’s not like there are any ads on these pages that will miss some clicks (and the resulting revenue)… there are no ads. In fact, wasting Palm Power wastes energy, which means we have to produce more energy, which usually means drilling and burning more oil, which usually causes more pollution, which destroys a little more of God’s creation. So when you get right down to it, I’m doing everyone (not just myself) a favor by copying the Bible to my Palm.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket!

  • The cowboy way

    In some circles he’s been described as the conservative evil genius. In other circles he’s just evil. This is the political climate of the day… but I’m not here for name calling… well, maybe I’m not above a little name-calling by proxy.

    The point of this morning’s verbal concoction is to analyze comments made by Karl Rove on NPR a couple days ago. My boy Karl was discussing why he thought the Grand ‘Ole Party was going to retain control of our bi-camel legislature this November. He made some excellent points. I’m not sure they warranted quite the level of confidence he displayed, but they were some of the same points I’ve worried about myself (what with me being a treasonous liberal and all). The comment that brought up that morning’s coffee (in a nasal geyser that could fetch a hefty appearance fee from any major traveling circus) came when Karl was asked what the White House plans were in the event The Dems DID take control of one or both houses of Congress.

    “We don’t have a plan because we’re going to win.” (Paraphrase based on my best recollection)

    Funny how history repeats itself… it reminds me of something Mark Twain said,

    It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man’s character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

    How has recent history repeated itself? Let’s see…
    No plan for an Iraqi insurgency… we’ll be greeted as liberators not occupiers.
    No plan for an alternate legislative agenda… Social Security reform will pass.

    Those are two pretty big ones and I didn’t even have to check Google (or try – at all).

    A few years ago I would have ascribed these kinds of comments as macho-Texan-cowboy bravado… a couple guys aiming for a little self-fulfilling prophesy. It’s a strategy that’s worked in the past, so it’s not a bad way to go. But you know what they say… fool me once – shame on me…. No, I wouldn’t be surprised if they really didn’t have a plan for a Democratic congress. By now that’s their well deserved M.O.

    Pity Karl might just be right this time. A big money advantage will go a long way towards swaying opinion in many tight, local elections. Imagine two weeks of GOP TV-ad, saturation bombing. If you’re really lucky, you don’t have to imagine it; you can watch it on your local TV station.