• More self evident truths

    There are certain, inalienable rights; among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of televised coverage of your team’s presence in a semi-final OR final championship game.

    Set the way back machine to Saturday night, and take a stroll through my life with me…

    It’s nearing bed time and my wife has the haggard look of a single mother after a double shift of bedtime prep. “What’s wrong Cheryl?” I asked innocently. “Well, let’s see… you were watching television while I was….” She began to reply, but I interrupted, “wait Cheryl, wait. I wasn’t just watching TV… I was watching the semi-finals… the Gators in the Final Four. Doesn’t that count for something? The score was pretty close until the second half… I’ve had a pretty rough night too.”

    That, my friends, was the wrong thing to say. I’ll bet you could see the ‘ole “what’s more important, TV or…” line from three paragraphs away, couldn’t you? Me? I’m not so quick on my feet.

    Truth be told, I got some leeway for my efforts on Beth’s floor this vacation week past. Little does my wife know…

    I do love my kids, and I have fun taking them out; but between you and me, I’ll bet it was physically easier to do the flooring in Beth’s room than take the kids to Sea World. Oh, the trouble I sow…

  • Looks like we’ve wasted another perfectly good week off

    I had big plans for this week. I think I may have shared my plans with all of you. Come on, you remember… I had planned to do nothing this week.

    “So John, is there any thing you need at Home Depot?” Cheryl asks me last Friday night.

    “Ah, no. Should I need something at Home Depot?” I reply.

    “Silly, silly boy; weren’t you going to do Beth’s floor this week?”

    Curses! Foiled again.

  • Off balance: a belated review

    Presumption number one: you pay attention to the books I read.
    Presumption number two: anyone is paying attention at all.

    My first impression of Harry Turtledove follows his naming strategy… he’s awfully repetitive. Have you ever read a book where the author continuously reminds you what the character’s motivations are?

    Chapter 1: “… Jack was uneasy, his acne proof of his poor hygiene.”
    Chapter 2: “… of course, Jack didn’t go with them, his acne making him too self conscious to be seen in public.”
    Chapter 2, paragraph 12: “His acne was beginning to put a crimp on his success with the ladies.”
    Chapter 3: ” ‘Sorry, but I’ve got to stay home and wash my face tonight.’ ”

    You get the idea? The character’s actual concerns were a little deeper than my example, but I still thought every chapter was written like the first chapter in a sequel… the author assuming that everyone had forgotten the nuances of the characters in the year that has past since the last book came out.

    The book would have been great if I hadn’t wanted to scream, “Dude, it’s only been one chapter. I GET IT ALREADY.” Besides, no one around would have known what the heck I was talking about.