In the context of a computer repair manual, a procedure is described as “pretty difficult,” you should pretty much assume that this procedure is not for you – unless you make a living doing this kind of thing.

I’ve cracked the case on a computer or two in my day, but I’m strictly a novice. That’s why I had no business pulling the innards out of my recently obtained Twentieth Anniversary Mac.

The TAM is built like a laptop computer… space is at a premium, and you have to take lots of things out to get at some things. One such thing that requires major surgery is access to the built in speakers. You see, one of the speakers was suffering from distracting static. This apparently was a common problem on the TAM. Fortunately, the problem was well documented… and the fix was long ago worked out. I just had to take the whole thing apart, disconnect the speaker from the motherboard and clean the connection with a pencil eraser.

The bad news is I am a nervous wreak. The good news is I’m listening to a static free, Bose Acoustimas sound system on a slightly used TAM.

Now I’ve just got to upgrade the OS to 8.6, track down that hacked version of iTunes that runs on 8.6 (I’d swear I’ve got it around here somewhere), delete the new tuner apps and extensions that come w/ 8.6 (that cause volume control problems on the TAM), reinstall the old versions of the tuner apps from OS 7.6.1, track down the driver software for an old 32 bit Macsense PCI ethernet card, install it, and transfer a subset of my music collection to the 2GB HD on the TAM.

No sweat.

About 38 hours ago my wife wanted nothing to do with another old computer. In fact, I had to agree to dispose of my vintage, 1994 Macintosh Performa 577, to make room for my prized new addition to our little Mac Museum.

About 17 hours ago my wife walked into our family room and noticed the TV was on… on the computer screen. “How did you do that?” she asked. “Elementary, my dear Cheryl,” I replied, “behold… a computer with a television and FM tuner built-in.”

About 16 hours ago my wife walked into our family room and noticed music and diaphragm curling base… coming from this same computer. “Don’t tell me that’s coming from the computer too?” she asked. “Indubitably, my dear Cheryl,” I replied, “behold… a computer with a built-in Bose sound system, rounded out with a powered sub-woofer.”

About 15 hours ago my wife asked me the unfathomable, just two hours prior… “You aren’t really going to take that to work with you, are you? I think we ought to keep it here for the kids to use.”

Yeah, sure… for the kids to use….