• Please pass the sugar

    A regulation size 3 Musketeers Bar weighs 60.4g and has 260 calories.

    One gram of sugar has four calories.

    A regulation size 3 Musketeers Bar has approximately 4.3 calories per gram.

    Revealing factoid: one gram of fat has 9 calories.

    Educated guess based on my superior mathematical skills: a regulation size 3 Musketeers Bar has more sugar than fat.

    Sources: www.sugar.com/health/gottolose.html, 3 Musketeers Bar wrapper.


  • A word from someone else’s sponsor

    Has life worn you out? Do you feel tired or slow witted? If so, there’s a prescription medication that can put that spring back in your step, that can open your eyes and make your hair stand on end!

    Ask your doctor if prescription strength Albuterol is right for you.

    Note: Albuterol has been known to cause tremors, headache, sore throat, or excessive nervous energy in some patients.


  • A grim tale

    Do you remember the good old days when “huffing” only happened in fairy tales? Maybe you were as surprised as I was to hear that huffing is a hip happening at youth hang outs? Sure, kids used to get a little flighty building plastic models in their stuffy, unventilated bed rooms… but let’s not get too personal here. Now this morning’s paper would have us believe “huffing” household chemical vapors has reached unprecedented levels of popularity. Kids are tapping their household air conditioning units for freon? To get high? I felt pretty adventurous taking apart my dad’s electric lawn trimmer, and that wasn’t even plugged in. Yes, I did inhale gasoline once, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was a means to a useful end, even if it was incredibly stupid. It is beyond my admittedly limited comprehension that a 16 year old would take the cover off of the A/C unit outside and bleed off a little freon into a plastic bag to get high. Did he think of this himself? Are there discussion groups in school that discuss the most unlikely means to a cheap high?

    One of the early signs of aging is the use of the phrase, “Do you remember the good old days when….” This is one of the first times I’ve felt a significant disconnect with a younger generation (well, there was that whole pants that fall down thing, but I don’t want to talk about that right now).

    I’m feeling a little old. Not a lot mind you, just a little.