• Happy New Year… now go to bed.

    Those party horns – the ones that you can get in a set of twenty at the dollar store – I’d like to take several and shove them where the clean air doesn’t blow. Everyone in my house (except for me) is asleep, so it must be coming from outside. They’re impossible to ignore. Please God, I just want to sleep. If Cheryl or Beth wakes me up early tomorrow to leave for Bush Gardens… well, … I don’t know, I guess I’ll be really disappointed. What else am I going to do?

    Not having served in the military, I am left to wonder if the fireworks going off outside make the neighborhood sound like a war zone. When the concussion rattles the window, you know it has to be illegal. Am I the only scrooge on my street? I hate New Years. Ba humbug.

    Or maybe I’m just tired.

  • Just a few precious hours later…

    Medical science would classify my current state as “Conscious”, or in layman’s terms “awake”. I am not entirely sure I would agree with them. Do you ever tire of my whining? In just a few moments we will be departing for the Bush Gardens. A good time will be had by all, OR ELSE!

  • Of all the nerve!

    My wife wants me to spend New Years Day at Bush Gardens. Yes, that’s right… she wants me to spend quality time with my family while the Gators play in a bowl game… the last college football game featuring the Gators for another nine months. Apparently she’s holding me to something I said two days ago. Allegedly I told her that I didn’t mind going to Bush Gardens. But here’s the catch, it turns out she asked me while I was watching another football game. I think it was an evil plot to take advantage of me in a vulnerable situation. In the midst of my suffering while the Bucs mailed it in against Tennessee, she pops the question. She knows darn well I don’t listen to her during football season!

    Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!