Are you going to eat that?

Yogurt is the most disgusting substance that I purposefully put in my mouth on a routine basis. It beats out things like cottage cheese and brie because, as Nancy Reagan says, I, “just say no.” Pre-mixed yogurt isn’t too bad. You remove the cover and you see a substance that looks a little bit like pudding. Pudding is good! Contrast this with the look and feel of the fruit on the bottom variety; well, it’s enough to loose your appetite. Stirring it up, if anything, makes matters worse. After a good stirring, my yogurt looks like a culture from the lab run amok. Then you read the label, proudly proclaiming that your lunch contains “live and active cultures”, and suddenly you’re waxing sentimental over those peanut butter sandwiches that perpetually appeared in your school lunch, oh those many moons ago. No matter how much you stir, you can’t quite eliminate those disturbing white lumps. Is that the part that is “live and active?”

Please don’t answer that. I don’t really want to know.