Kitchen Sink

The smell of vanity

Light travels faster than smell.
Exhibit 1: a man on a bicycle spots a policeman getting into his vehicle, three blocks up the road. After the policeman enters his vehicle, and the man on the bicycle gets within two blocks, the smell of cologne hits the man on the bicycle.

If you are like the man on the bicycle, you are surprised to learn that men’s cologne could have a blast radius of two blocks. Furthermore, one has to wonder what the conditions inside that car must be like. Could your average scumbag get off, pleading cruel and unusual punishment? And what of that smell? What is the root cause? Is the officer a victim of a freak smoking accident which destroyed his sense of smell? Does he let his two year old help him get ready for work in the morning? Does he suffer from a form of Tourett’s which manifests itself as a series of hand ticks? Did he mistake his cologne for a bottle of body wash? Does he substitute cologne for fabric softener on the rinse cycle?

I am not a practitioner of the olfactory arts, so maybe my judgment is too harsh. Maybe I should spend a little coin to pretty myself up.

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I'm sorry but I can't sum me up in this limited amount of space. No, I take that back. I'm not sorry.