Stray spray

Our neighbors are trying to make us look bad. They did the unthinkable, they planted sod. Making matters worse, they installed a sprinkler system. Even worse yet, their sprinklers water a sizable chunk of our yard too.


Just as I was starting to relish the coming of the annual November die-off, our neighbors go and put the side of our “lawn” on life support.

I was discussing my dilemma with my sister the other day, when she grumbled about how much work a lawn is turning out to be. Yes, she lives in one of those “deed restricted communities” where conformity and organized hazing have combined to form a unique blend of “love thy neighbor.” It all leads me to wonder why so few of us embrace Zeroscaping, the Darwinian approach to landscaping. Now how am I going to Zeroscape if my neighbor keeps everything alive? (1)

Say I seed my lawn with a few industrial sized bags of salt, and my yard just happens to have a grade where water tends to run off of my yard and into my neighbor’s yard. Would that constitute vandalism? (2) What’s a few hundred pounds of salt between neighbors? (3)

(1) There’s always the rest of the yard.
(2) Probably.
(3) A lawsuit.