Embracing bureaucracy

The dream of a paperless office died about two hours and thirty-three minutes after our “paperless” case management system came online more than ten years ago. Since then our capacity to do lots of work has gone way up, but it has resulted in a flood of paper; with nary a reduction in sight. It is with this in mind that I have proposed a new measurement standard for work. Counting the varying “units” produced is so ’90s. Since every bureaucrat worth his weight in paper knows that anything worth a damn has a form assigned to it, I say the new universal measurement for office productivity should be the pound (not to be confused with British currency).

“John, the employee of the month, produced an ASTOUNDING 2.2 tons of work this month! Let’s hear it for John!”