Family and Friends

Where there’s a will, there’s a dead guy with real or liquid assets

People keep running into me. First there was that run-in with a car after our circle of life, downpour dash at Adventure Island. I was standing beside my car, minding my own business, when the car next to me unexpectedly leapt into action and sideswiped my hindquarters. I let out what I felt, at the time, was a perfectly acceptable yelp – which seemed to serve its purpose, the driver stopped. “I didn’t see you there,” she yelled out the window. “I should hope not,” I replied, “Otherwise you did it on purpose.”

Note to self, this was one of those times when humor is not appropriate.

Then this evening Cheryl asks me to do some laundry. I was on my feet at the time, wandering the house aimlessly. In Cheryl’s defense, what I did was completely out of character – and in hindsight was completely unexpected – I immediately obeyed her orders. I spun on my heel and headed off for the laundry room. What was my reward for my obedience? Cheryl hit me with the door. She’s always telling me not to let the door hit me in the a– on the way out, but I didn’t think she meant it literally. Sheesh! And this for being good. I’ll bet B.F. Skinner is rolling in his grave.

Well no, probably not.

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I'm sorry but I can't sum me up in this limited amount of space. No, I take that back. I'm not sorry.