Take a week and a half away from the office and things will be exactly the same – and eerily out of place all at once. Work for state government and come back from said absence to find that your barely broken-in, one year old PC has been replaced with a new flat panel model… and it may be time to schedule time with your local medical or religious professional.

Either I’m suffering from acute, idiopathic hallucinations or something has run afoul of the natural order; but either way, I’ve got serious problems.

You know what’s worst of all friends? I walked into my office, saw the flat panel, and was excited to see something with the word “Dell” printed on it.

Dear Lord, forgive us our sins and deliver us from evil.

(Do two Hail Marys, four Our Fathers, and five hours work on the Mac at home; and all is forgiven my son.)