Disclaimer: I’m not a jewelry guy. I own one piece: a simple, unadorned wedding band.

I must confess to a weakness: I can’t help but draw prejudicial conclusions about people who wear more rings than fingers. Pray tell dear reader: are these people compensating for something? I see some old ladies with more rocks than a natural history museum, and I wonder…. Does it prevent you from walking with your hands down at your sides – lest your fingers be pulled out of joint? Can someone buy that much jewelry and wear it all at once, or do you have to work your way up to it – building up the necessary forearm strength gradually?

One of the lessons of the newly established (and imminently notable) Kauffman School of Etiquette states: “no piece of jewelry should larger than the closest knuckle.”

Full disclosure: I’m quite fortunate that my wife’s tastes in personal decoration trend pedestrian… I couldn’t afford one of those ladies’ fingers, let alone ten.