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I love the fact that I can find words like “mooch” in the dictionary. It makes writing for this site so much easier when I can verify the appropriate usage of slang. Is “mooch” just a random sample, plucked from the Kauffman Vocabulary Archives as a purely hypothetical example of slang? As it turns out I’m right in the middle of a little practical application right now, as I type. My wife was gifted various coffee components in honor of National Authority Figure Day. Never one to turn down a stimulant delivery device, I snatched up my wife’s old travel mug – made obsolete by her new travel thermos cum artillery round. (It’s a beautifully crafted, seamless, aluminum skinned thermos for which I have great envy – which has the appropriate shape and strength to be fired on an enemy position from any appropriately sized field artillery piece.) What’s more, she had a bag of ground coffee… a bag of Starbuck’s finest beckoning me with its siren song. I spooned out a couple tablespoons of ground nirvana and mixed it with some near-boiling water in my French press (coffee maker).

Before I continue, I should note that there are different grinding strategies for different methods of brewing. I’ve described all of this before, but I’m ripe for a retelling (whether you are or not). For drip brewing, where the water has relatively brief interaction with the grounds, a fine grind is recommended. For the French press, where the grounds soak in the water much longer, a relatively coarse grind is recommended. It’s all about the surface area baby! Anyway, all of this is why I like to grind my own coffee; not just for control for it’s own sake, but to get the perfect grind for the perfect cup o’ French press joe. As I’ve said, my wife’s gifted coffee gold was ground… setting up the premise for this entire entry. (Author’s note: The Surgeon General warns that chewing gum while reading the following sentence out loud may cause severe bleeding.) Feeling tired, and lets face it – damn near desperate for a quick caffeine fix – I went into full mooch mode and appropriated some gift grind – ground fine for the drip.

Fine grind plus Frech press equals… WHOA THAT’S STRONG!

This morning’s mooch madness brought me something I’ll never forget… the new gold standard for strong coffee.

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  1. I forgot to mention that Authority Figure Day is affectionately known around these parts as AFDA, pronounced “af-dah,” as in: “yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ll do it AFDA my break.”

Give the gift of words.