The Semi-Official Williams Wedding Stick in the Mud

This is one of a handful of entries that have been sitting around gathering dust. I wrote this a little over a year ago, but never got around to posting it…

The base is loud enough to mix a drink, my head hurts, and I have to pee. Routine bodily functions are not usually fodder for sharing, but I’ve really gotta go and the men’s room is out of order.

So I’m sitting outside by the pool, and the sounds of a wedding are but a thump-thump in the background. By a remarkable coincidence, the thump-thump is in sync with the pounding in my head. Damn do I make a lousy date.

I wonder how many have looked out, seen me, and wondered who is the poor woman who came with the guy with the PDA by the pool. The realist in me knows no one has noticed I’ve been gone. I don’t know if that’s a relief or really depressing.

I probably should have told my wife where I was going. Eh, she looked like she was having a good time. I didn’t want to spoil it.

Yeah, like it’s soo much better for her to read about it here.

You want to hear something really amusing? A fellow wedding reception refugee has joined me by the pool. Hey – GREAT NEWS – this must mean I’m not so pathetic after all.

Maybe if I say that often enough I might believe it. You want to hear something really depressing? This grand gala serves as our big night out – for our wedding anniversary.

Ain’t self pity grand?

Give the gift of words.