I’m generally a pro-alarm kind of guy. They’re great for all kinds of things, like telling you to get the hell out of a burning building, or getting your but out of bed in time to earn a living, or telling you when your precious pot of caffeinated corrective is finished brewing.

It goes without saying the most important characteristic of a good alarm is it alerts you in a reliable fashion (and yet, I said it anyway). There’s no use in a clock radio that fires a stream of electrons through it’s tuner at a set time, if the volume is turned all the way down. I say this as a man with experience. And yet, there’s got to be a happy medium between “wake the dead” and “wishing you were” (like when you ruin a batch of coffee).

Why do I bring this up? It’s our annual fire alarm awareness week at the office, and I’ve got the tinnitus to prove it.

Alright, I don’t really have anything against our alarms. I know it’s better to err on the side of caution, even if it means I spill a little coffee on myself once a year.

Give the gift of words.