Let’s hear it for the mail

A few amusing things came in the mail this morning (the last week really… we haven’t been checking for a while). The first was actually a stack of things: a whole mess of “this is not a bill” from our auto insurance company. They don’t want anything from us now, they just want to remind us they’ve been billed for another ten grand from various providers, and they’ll be expecting our twenty percent at some unspecified time. Thanks. Appreciate it. I’m sure they’re required by law to do it, and a computer does it for them automatically, but I can’t help imagining some deranged insurance executive rhythmically pressing the “print/send/mail” key, a tent in his trousers, filling a small dark room with maniacal laughter.

The other thing was another sign our baby is growing up. We got our first abstinence education flyer from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

That one’s wrong on so many levels I don’t even want to talk about it.

Then why did you bring it up John?

My doctor says I’m not supposed to talk to you anymore.

Give the gift of words.