All hail the beekeeper!

Beard of BeesIt turns out the bees won’t be treated so humanely after all.

Back to that in a moment. First, I want to waste your time with a little narrative of this morning’s events.

The wildlife expert/beekeeper came out, took a look at the bees, said, “yep, there’s a lot of bees for ya,” and went back to his truck to don his beekeeper suit. Meanwhile I ran inside to grab my camera to snap some pictures before the bees got angry.

If there’s one thing I don’t like it’s angry bees. It turns out it was a good thing I didn’t try one of my infamous, half-baked, DIY, home fixer-upers the day before. While I was inside doing a little work, nursing my mucous back to good color, the beekeeper was making a discovery. My bees weren’t just any old bees. No sir! They were them aggressive types, those africanized bees.

Yes! I knew it! I knew I was special… somehow! How many of YOU can say you’ve got killer bees in your laundry room?

HAH! I didn’t think so.

It turns out they don’t tolerate the air conditioning well and die overnight, so they were pretty well contained to the laundry room – and a couple that found their way into the family room. Our family room is a converted garage, so the door is big, heavy, insulated, and tight fitting – or in this case: bee proof.

So now I just have to wait the 48 to 72 hours for the beekeeper’s magic dust to do its trick and make the bees go away. I’ll be home alone while Cheryl and the kids go to Orlando, nursing my cold – a lone sentinel against the insect threat.

Maybe I’ll go over to my parent’s house to do some laundry… for old time’s sake.

By the way, did you know it only costs $289 (flat rate) to have a licensed, insured, wildlife expert come out and relocate your honeybees, and treat point of entry/exit with a non-toxic substance which will discourage the bees from settling there again?

Did you know that they charge the same amount for exterminating africanized bees that I think our exterminator should do for no additional charge, under their existing contract?

Did you know that someone will be reading contracts and possibly making phone calls this weekend?


  1. Sorry it took so long to chime back in. I follow your Facebook-connected blog updates on my phone, but I don’t always get back on the laptop to read everything on the big screen, and where typing more than a couple lines in response won’t make me nuts.

    I do think about our days of less than stellar intramural basketball with some regularity. It is usually during periods of high stress and endless family activities when I find myself reminiscing about those relatively care-free college days. Of course, you were our ringer what with that deadly jump shot you could hit from almost anywhere on the floor, In fact, did you remember that the team videographer did manage to record our collective ineptitude for our posterity? I don’t know if Chris is still in possession of the evidence, or if it passed to Jon. I need to find out and get it put on DVD. My kids are still at the age that they would be impressed with my basketball skills. A couple of more years and all bets are off.

    On a completely unrelated note, I really have enjoyed ready your posts. In dealing with some medical problems of my own – an irregular heartbeat and the side effects of the related medications are nothing compared to what you have gone through – I find myself relating to the anxiety you’ve voiced about the possibility of relapse and to the challenges of dealing with the modern medical profession.

    So, keep writing and I’ll keep reading.

    Stay well and carry on!

  2. Hi M,
    Thanks for stopping by. It was great to hear from you. I’d heard the Africanized bees had made it this far, but one thing I failed to mention in the two posts was how fast the bees congregated. Thursday afternoon I said we had a “swarm.” I may have been reaching a bit. We had a dozen or so bees flying around, concentrated on one spot. When I got up Friday morning when the beekeeper rang the bell and went around to the side of the house to look with him I was shocked.

    There were A LOT MORE BEES.

    It’s kind of scary, really. If I hadn’t happened to notice them the day before, and one of the kids had stumbled across them Friday afternoon (when who knows how many there would have been)… it could have been really bad.

    – – –

    On a lighter note, you ever think about lacing up and running a few games at the ‘ole Florida Gym? The almost magic sound of the ball bouncing on the hardwood? The rare sweet sound sound of the ball catching the back of the net? And the humbling feeling of getting our asses kicked?

    Ah, those were the days…

  3. Glad it worked out. Last year, I had bees swarming all over my porch for no apparent reason. As I watched from the window, they proceeded to squeeze in between a small gap in the overlap of the siding and enter the wall of the house. You could hear them in there from my son’s bedroom. Thankfully, they did not find a way inside. The next day, I had an exterminator come out, spray some spray and set some traps, but the swarm had moved on. I guess they didn’t find my abode hospitable enough to stay, thankfully.

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