Lead us not into temptation

I could take this title in a lot of different directions, but I don’t think you saw this one coming. Or maybe you did. My readers tend to be the thoughtful type.

Don’t you dare laugh.

The good, church going folks among you might think I’m talking about sin, but I’m not… not in the Biblical sense anyway.

No, my transgressions only hurt one person: myself. I’ve sinned against myself, in thought, word, and deed.

A few days ago I took up caffeine again.

Dun-dun-dun, DAAAAAAAAAA!

That’s right folks, my doctors may be saying no, but my mind and body are saying YES, OH GOOD GOD YES!

I know what you’re thinking: IS THIS GOING TO BE THE KIND OF POST WHERE JOHN GOES ALL CAPS CRAZY ON ME? That’s the caffeine talking baby! It has a way of capitalizing everything for me, which is probably why my doctors think I should abstain. Well, there’s that and the little matter of it not playing well with all of my meds.

But fook me, man, the damn stuff has me hooked. No, not just hooked, it’s damn near a necessity. Just think, how many of you need a daily infusion of America’s Favorite Stimulant ™ to get your motor running? Come on now, fess up… how many of you need more than one… or twelve?

I know. I should really stop. I’ll give it up next month. I’ll start proof reading these posts again too. I promise.

Give the gift of words.