Forgive me

Forgive me Father for I am considering sin.

My neck isn’t any better than it was almost a year ago. While I haven’t given up hope my issues above the shoulders will improve one day, it’s time to stop waiting. It’s time to start doing. It’s time I started exercising again.

We interrupt this post for a moment of rationalization.

It’s not that I haven’t been trying. Here’s just a couple inspiring examples of damn near heroic perseverance: I’ve tried increasingly short walks, scaling down every time it started to hurt. I tried easy skating, thinking gentle gliding would be less traumatic than the up/down pounding of walking. My reward? Suffering more pain for days afterward.

We return to the post, reality in progress.

My Doc says walking isn’t the best choice, due to the range of stressors placed on the neck (side to side, up and down, etc). When I mentioned skating she just shook her head with dismay. She must think I fall a lot, constantly pushing my limits. I don’t know what gives her that idea.

She recommended bicycling – or more precisely: riding an exercise bike. If you’re doing it right (is there any doubt I do it right?), there’s little upper-body movement at the lower effort levels.

The Problem(s): I have a road racing bike. I love my road racing bike. I may never be able to ride my road racing bike again. The bent-over, aerodynamic riding position puts a strain on my neck. Stupid pride prevents me from selling it for a heavy, upright clunker. Stupid pride prevents me from riding a heavy, upright clunker.

The less rational problem(s):
Yes, it can get worse.
A stationary bike represents all that is evil in this world. Bicycling is an adventure, more intimate than a car but taking you further than your feet. A stationary bike is a terrible tease of the adventures in life not taken. It’s like an indoor porch or a computer without the Mac OS. They’re useless, but rendered so intentionally – adding an absurd quality to each.

The Problem (condensed): me.

That said, I’m considering the unthinkable: defiling my beautiful bike by rotating the bars up 180 degrees, bullhorn style. The 1970s will be calling, asking for their bike back. Worse, I’m considering riding it indoors (on my trainer) wearing a cervical collar.

To recap:
Neck still hurts.
Determined to exercise.
Stationary bikes evil.
Too much misplaced pride.
Sleek bike defiled.
Riding indoors anyway, looking like a commercial for an injury attorney.

I’m nowhere near a thousand words but there’s NO chance you’re getting a picture, so this will have to do.