This one stands on it’s own (and does it admirably).
The Onion – 1/17/2001:
WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that “our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.”
“My fellow Americans,” Bush said, “at long…
“I’d rather burn in hell than pay her any money.”
A guy said that to me the other day. It’s nothing new. People say it all the time. It doesn’t come from all the folks we deal with; not even a majority of them. Still, despite our lofty goals, the harsh truth of my job is that you can’t always turn bad people into good people. There are some folks who seem to be so full of hate and…
… punched themselves in the face trying to remove a sock? It ranks right up there with hand v. ceiling fan, accidental dye jobs (the clothes formerly known as ‘whites’), bike v. parked car, unfortunate shirt/pants pairings, toe v. bed frame, and all the other things in life we learn the hard way.
Poor Adam. If he’s anything like his father, this evening’s pain/humiliation is only the…
Poor Adam stepped on another last week. Cheryl picked him up from school and took him to the doctor because he’d been coughing a lot. The doctor gave a listen to his lungs and gave a look of surprise. “Wow,” she said, “you’d never guess just looking at him that he’s wheezing.”
As the doctor said these words he was doing his impression of a perpetual motion machine, with a big grin on…
Proposed amendment to the Florida Constitution, which will appear on the ballot this November:
BE IT ENACTED BY THE PEOPLE OF FLORIDA THAT:
A new section for Article I is hereby created to add the following:
Inasmuch as marriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid…
Those wily Brits are up to something again…
Bags of Change: Carrot Better Than Stick – TreeHugger:
Bags of Change encourages responsible shopping bag use by dangling a tasty carrot. In short you get a discount at any participating store into which you to take their funky organic hemp-cotton or Amazonian latex bags. So far over 50 stores are involved.
I kid because I care. Actually, I think…
It’s been a couple days since the Florida primary. Although I’ve spent most of them trying to cough up a lung, I’ve had a little time to read some news. Lucky for you I’m taking a sick day today, and a fever has a way of loosening my tongue a little ;-) After my little talk with lonely poll workers I’ve learned that turnout was actually up since our last Presidential primary (in ’04).
The Liar’s Diary is a book by Patry Francis, a New England author with cancer. In her case the disease has been particularly cruel; it threw her a curve at a time when most authors are out promoting their book – right now.
Since she can’t get out to promote the book on her own, one of her friends organized a group of bloggers to do it for her.
And so far it’s apparently worked.
Head over…
Even with the move of our primary date (to today), I wouldn’t have guessed it would still be relevant. I know Florida is a big state with a lot of delegates. I know it’s been pivotal in recent elections. Still, I thought most nominations were sown up by the time South Carolina had its say. I hear some of my fellow Floridians with “listed” phone numbers are inundated by push polls, and our…
The nasty bugs of winter have finally caught up. We get colds too, even in sub-tropical Florida, and I should know. It’s been impossible to avoid this year. Everyone around me is falling victim to this latest epidemic of sniffling misery. In a way I’m glad I was able to avoid it for this long. It suggests my immune system is making a comeback. However, my experience tells me winter colds are…