• Father time

    I just want to get one thing straight from the get-go: I’m nobody’s old man.

    A few things recently have bothered me though. No, I’m not talking about the last few posts. For one thing, I keep running across fellow parents who look like they were born after I graduated from high school. That’s just wrong, but the crushing blow came this evening. Half the teachers we met at Beth’s middle school open house looked like they could be her older brother or sister. I wanted to ask someone if I’d gotten the wrong night. Was this the start of something new? Had I come for the first annual “let your daughter do your job day?” Surely these people weren’t old enough to have graduated from college. The gym teacher looked like he hadn’t shaved – ever.

    I’ve never felt so motivated to go out and get more exercise.

  • Teaching limits

    This one’s another entry that sat unfinished for a while. I’m not sure why I admit to these things.

    I’ve said it before, but I can’t say often enough: I’m really proud of my daughter. She has a beautiful mind; but as sometimes happens, hers comes with a few quirks. Throw in a few genetic bumps and you’ll see a road to academic success that hasn’t always been smooth – despite her gifts.

    Many people have said Beth’s teacher this year was a really good one. As far as I knew Beth agreed. She retired mid-way through the year though, and a newly certified former teacher’s assistant took over. Although the assistant had been in Beth’s class the last two years, and Beth adored her, I was a little worried about Beth losing a good teacher.

    It turns out I picked the wrong time to worry.

    I don’t remember how it came up, but Cheryl said to me the other night, “I hope Mrs. (the retired teacher) was wrong.”

    “Huh?”

    “When she said Beth would never be a scientist, or earn a PhD….”

    Cheryl kept on talking, but I only had ears for the first part. I was obviously supposed to remember this conversation, but somehow I didn’t. It was news to me – shocking news. Beth had a few problems a few years ago, but her grades have been exceptional and she’s shown a real enthusiasm for learning – science (and astronomy) in particular. What the heck was I doing when this came up the first time? I was mindlessly nodding my head as I played with the computer, no doubt.

    It’s possible this happened while I was sick late last year, though I still should have noticed.

    Maybe I’m missing something… something fundamental about the nature of school. I thought elementary school (besides teaching the basics**) was about encouraging kids to explore possibilities, about giving them the keys to the ground floor of a vast, limitless, and intriguing world. Beth is just starting to grasp some of the wonders of our world – with both hands.

    Excuse me for using for being a bit juvenile, BUT WTF? (Somebody’s got a potty mouth tonight.)

    I can understand not wanting to set a child up for failure, but isn’t it a little early for career counseling or collegiate academic advising? If fifth grade isn’t the time for dreaming of possibilities, when is? Maybe… just maybe, she should (at least) get to high school before we starting thinking about the right PhD program.

    Just in case you didn’t catch on, I AM MAD. You know what? There isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, nothing that’s immediately satisfying anyway. I’m not usually a confrontational person – in person anyway. But given the proper motivation, I’ve been known to make an occasional exception.

    You hear a lot of parents say they’ve tried, even ones that appear on the local news – with their arms conspicuously bound behind their backs. But I really think we have. We’ve encouraged her interests with trips to the library, books and videos. I’ve dug out my old telescope, braving the haze and light pollution to explore the solar system. We’re familiar with the space center and the local science museum (though I can’t in good conscience claim selfless parenting on this point – I love going). We’ve had many discussions that pushed the limits of my meager knowledge of science… like one we recently had about light. (Look! Up in the sky! It’s a wave… it’s a particle… NO, IT’S BOTH!) She’s done well academically (straight As). She’s done well in the activities we’ve tried to shore up her shortcomings (re: focus & Tae Kwon Do).

    Maybe I need to learn to stop worrying and love the bomb. (Every now and then it’s fun to just type the first thing that comes to mind, even if it doesn’t make much sense or fit in a particular context.)

    So what do I believe, or more appropriately, who? The new teacher… the one that’s been with Beth the last two years (1.5 as a classroom assistant), has since recommended her for every accelerated academic program they offer in middle school (meaning she’ll be bussed out to a school further away). One teacher has encouraged Beth to look to the stars (literally and figuratively), while the other preached tempered expectations.

    You know what? I change my mind. There is something I can do right now. I can encourage my daughter to reach as high as she wants.

    * Beth starts sixth grade next week.

    ** Florida is one of those places that has embraced standardized testing as the ultimate measuring stick for education. As a result, some teachers and schools teach what’s covered on the test… no less, and nothing more.

  • No network means mo’ blogging!

    wedding2.jpg

    This Sunday I had three weddings on my mind. I attended mass with my Catholic in-laws for the second time since my infamous Orlando walkout. If I said it was the first time it would sound a lot more impressive, unless you knew I was lying. We were taking on mass to celebrate Cheryl’s parents’ forty-fifth anniversary. That’s pretty cool, but just being in the church brought back some of my fondest memories. (Not counting the Orlando incident.) It’s where Cheryl and I were married a little over fourteen years ago. I may be a little biased, but it was the best wedding I’ve ever been to. At some point I got off memory road, giving me the chance to spend most of the sermon daydreaming about the third wedding: my trip to Wisconsin later this week for my cousin’s wedding. Maybe you don’t think Wisconsin is exciting, but it will be the second furthest I’ve traveled from home. Note: I’m not counting trips to New England, mostly because it’s inconvenient, but also because it’s where I used to live (MA being the only state I can say that about) and it’s where much of my family is from. It will also be my first trip outside the state since I got sick. Plus, I’ll get to see some family I haven’t seen in a really long time. In the words of the cool kids from my high school days, I’m stoked.

    Now I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the server at our office for burning out this morning, making this post possible. Many organizations have striven for the elusive “paperless office,” and in many ways we’ve achieved it in my department. But the flip side is there’s not a lot to do when the ‘puter ain’t working. “Open the pod bay doors Hal.”

    For those of you outside my inner circle (re: not in my head), the last month or so has been crazy busy – on the Kauffman scale of activity anyway. Now that Beth is on the road to middle school (junior high) and the after school activities have shifted a few hours later, I find myself with less feet-up time. It’s left a lot less time for leisure pursuits, but I’m not complaining. Days have never seemed so short, which I take as a good sign. Nowadays I’ve got just enough time for my kids, work, my bike, a pinch of news and the occasional post. And that’s with a reduced sleep schedule.

    Alright, maybe it doesn’t sound all that busy, but I can’t imagine what I’d do if I had a job with more time demands. Not being able to imagine it is probably a big reason why I don’t.