• Binge eating versus… eating a little bit at a time, over a period of time

    I was racking my brain over an antonym for binge, and you can see that I gave up. If you let them, sometimes the littlest things will drive you mad. I had a sudden burst of stubbornness, and refused to break out the thesaurus.

    Anyhoo, with Halloween come and gone, I was wondering what the healthiest way to eat a lot of candy is. It goes without saying that the healthiest thing would be to give the candy away, but that’s not going to happen. So I wondered… is it better to eat until I puke, or ration my simple sugars over an extended period of time? I’m thinking the binge is the way to go. I envision my digestive system like land, and eating like rain. (For that sentence to work as intended, you have to read it to yourself while imagining soothing, classical music in the background. If you can play actual classical music in the background, so much the better.) If you get a certain amount of rain, drawn out over a week, the land has a chance to absorb more of the water, taking it deep within itself. But if you dump all that rain in an hour (like we get our rain in Florida), all of it puddles on the surface and runs down stream.

    Me thinks it’s time for a little trial and error (with emphasis on the error). Score me some Maalox and I’ll be all set.

  • Chipper

    “John, Beth is so much like you.”

    “Cool. Why?”

    “She’s lying in bed shivering, so I asked her why she didn’t get another blanket, or put on warmer pjs; and she said she was too tired.”

    “That’s my girl!”

  • Let there be wood for me to knock

    NURSE!?! I can’t use this laminated composite crap! Get me some real wood… oak, ash, hickory. Hell, I’ll even take pine or maple. Just get it here STAT!

    As it happens, my wife has suffered through the preliminary, primary, and waning stages of illness, and I’m still cold free. My daughter has seen all manner of matter treat her mouth like a two-way street, but I haven’t had so much as a cramp. It’s times like these that I recall these last two years, when anyone within a two mile radius so much as sneezes and I miss the next week of work, spending horizontal quality time with a pillow, and enough Sudafed to revive a comatose water buffalo. Now I’m cooped up with TWO, count ’em, TWO sick people, and I’m the picture of good health.

    (I’m jotting this down on my Palm, out of Wi-Fi range, so I can’t properly verify the weight class of your garden variety water buffalo. For the purposes of this entry, let’s stipulate that it’s a large animal and move on… shall we?)

    Maybe it’s the bicycling. Maybe it was the flu shot. Maybe my luck’s changing. Maybe I’m pushing my luck. Maybe I’m throwing down the gauntlet to fate, defiantly calling it out.

    Maybe you’ve had enough of this entry already.

    But no, I’m not done!
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