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Airing it out
There’s a phenomenon frequently associated with “Windows PCs” where apiece of hardware spontaneously takes flight. It’s usually a keyboard or mouse, but in a few documented cases it has happened to monitors and CPUs as well.
Recent studies suggest this “phenomenon” is not spontaneous at all; but rather, a pre-meditated attempt by an owner to bleed off a little pressure from the boiler. Some may call this catharsis… but you know me, I’m hesitant to make a value judgement where computer operating systems are concerned.
I will tell you this though: a piece of computer hardware almost took flight in our house last night. Oh the horror! I haven’t seen my computer do such strange things since… well… ever. Holy deus ex machina Batman! Universal Access was turned on! I turned it off and the problem was solved.
The question is, how did it get turned on? I’m not sure I want to know.
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What smell this way comes?
Perhaps this is a little sexist, but I usually associate clouds of personal scent (of the optional variety) with women. Imagine my concern when I walked into a public restroom and my nose was assaulted by the smell of burning money (speaking metaphorically). The air was thick with the smell of the vanity wing of a department store. It was so strong someone could have filled a potty with eau de toilette and given themself a swirly – and the smell still wouldn’t have been as strong.
Was I in the wrong room? Was I about to be come lawyer fodder?
Nope. I was in the men’s room. Everything was o.k. Just a guy in the next stall with olfactory dysfuction.
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The fat man and a little boy
This afternoon I was having a pleasant conversation about the movies, when I became helplessly mute over the name of a famous actor. I was fishing futilely for anything resembling a name, tossing out hints with reckless abandon.
“You know, Superman’s father… the fat guy…”
Apparently the actor in question is known for more than being fat, and such characterizations can cause offense.