• My truck is bigger than your truck

    It’s like the 70’s all over again. Despite the rising cost of gasoline, the cash cow of the automobile industry is BIG. That’s right, BIG is in; and nowhere is that more apparent than the new Ford F-150, a giant phallus on wheels. The enormous size of the new model didn’t hit me until I saw it next to the old one in traffic. You’d swear the old model just got back from a tea party with Alice (of wonderland fame); either that or it just came in from swimming in the pool.

  • Missing information

    I offer this information freely, as a public service to all of you Starbucks patrons out there. You know those dark chocolate covered espresso beans they sell? Well, them beans ain’t decaffeinated my friend. Picture my surprise when I find myself, post Pringles moment (or is that Ruffles that you can’t eat just one?), and half a box later, flying like a strung out kite. That’ll teach me to eat sweets right before bedtime.

    Cheryl made me get better aquainted with the couch that night, of that you can be sure. You try sucking on two cups of espresso beans and lying still.

  • Come again?

    It will have been said, ad nausem, at this point, but we like kicking ’em when they’re down up here in the cheap seats. We would just like to say that no matter how much practical experience a candidate for the supreme court has, calling a man who can’t pronounce half the words in a pocket dictionary (even with the phonetic spelling) a brilliant man, nay, “the most brilliant man I’ve ever met;” that pretty much has to disqualify you for the job right there.

    Just who the hell is this person hanging out with? Heck, even if she’s spent half of her adult life walking the Bush family dogs, surely she’s met a Bushie with a little more horsepower under the skull than Georgie. Take my Governor (please?).