The only channel playing the Gold Cup match between the US men’s National Team and Jamaica was Telefutura, the local Spanish language channel. Man! I couldn’t help but get excited. I didn’t have a clue what they’re saying, until,

GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL!

I didn’t even start counting until after the first half dozen or so. It was like a caricature of a stereotype.

Here’s some learnin’ free of charge. Baby + Suntan Lotion + Water = another battle lost to gravity.

Now before you panic, no one was hurt in this story.

I was sitting in the shade at Beth’s 2005 birthday party (version 2) watching my wife and youngest child at the pool from afar. Cheryl was conversing with a friend when she surprised everyone (including herself, but most of all the baby) with a disappearing baby trick. Fortunately, babies float; so it was a relatively simple matter to make the baby re-appear. In short order, everyone was just fine (no word yet on the condition of Cheryl’s ego though). Twenty minutes later Cheryl and the baby walked back to the shade for some refreshments, but by that time I had forgotten to ask her about it. I still haven’t. It’s more fun to bring it up this way anyway.

Boy, you think you’ve seen a surprised baby before, you should see them after they’ve been dunked in water.

Beth’s birthday was a success. I just wish she liked the $200 bike as much as the $20 lamp. I thought it was going to be a mistake to give her the biggest gift first, but it all worked out in the end. The bike came first, with a moderate amount of joy, and the lamp came last, accompanied by an explosion of eight year old birthday glee.

When you get right down to it, it’s pretty typical. One minute they’re a toddler, surrounded by Fisher-Price and the gang, gleaning hours of entertainment from the car seat strap; the next they’re shunning a perfectly good bike in favor of rhythmic (light) switching in the bedroom.