• Past due

    “John, do you realize that we haven’t done any housework since Adam was born?”

    “Yeah, I know. It’s been great, hasn’t it?”

    Although no breath passed over her vocal cords to put voice to her reply, the look on her face said volumes. A golden age in the Kauffman Household (version 2.2.1) is over.


  • Waiting for relief

    I was just talking to my wife today, and I was remarking on what an experience these last two weeks have been. It turns out it’s true what they say; every child is different. It may seem like an obvious thing to say, but when has that ever stopped me.

    As it turns out, an overwhelming need to express the sentiment du jour is not why I’m writing this entry. It’s almost 3 a.m. in new parent world, and I’ve got the mother of all headaches (which is completely unrelated to being a new parent – which I’ve found to be kind of cool the second go round). Normally I would take a patient approach to home pain management. Based on an aversion to medication, I start with the recommended O.T.C. dose of ibuprofen and follow that up with a hit of Sudafed – but only if the ibuprofen doesn’t work first. The problem with this strategy is two fold. First, it’s 3a.m. Second, Sudafed tends to make me a wee bit stimulated (re: high as a kite in a significant wind event). The nighttime backup plan is to go for something with a little antihistamine thrown into the mix. After all, my headaches are often allergy related anyway. The real benefit of an O.T.C. antihistamine at 3 a.m. is the side effect, namely that it may cause drowsiness. Lying in bed waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in, I don’t mind a little drowsiness.

    Earlier in this entry I mentioned the drug Sudafed. I was about to use what I believed to be the active ingredient in Sudafed in this entry, instead of the brand name. My sole purpose in doing so was to make you all believe that I was smarter than I really was. Alas, I was riddled with doubt, prompting me to do a little fact checking. That led me to some interesting information (for 3 a.m. anyway). Did you know that one of the active ingredients in Sudafed is Paracetamol. Acording to the folks at this web site: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100004972.html, “Paracetamol is a medicine used in the treatment of mild to moderate pain. It is also useful for reducing fever. It is not fully understood how paracetamol produces these effects.” I don’t know about you, but my funny bone gets a big ‘ole kick in the ass when a medical professional tells me they don’t know why a certain medication works. I get this mental image of Fred, my imaginary medical test subject, trying out a new drug for hair loss. In my imaginary medical trial, I see a group of health care professionals gathered around Fred asking him how he feels after taking “Paracetamol.” Fred replies, “well doc, I don’t feel any hairier, but I’ll be damned if my sinus pain hasn’t gone away!” “Well smack my ass and call me Judy” the doctor replies – borrowing a line from his favorite character on Friends, “it sure beats the hell out of me to tell you why. Are you sure you don’t have any more hair?”

    What, your imaginary friend doesn’t volunteer for drug trails too?


  • And she doesn’t take American Express

    I can’t get credit for nothing man! I went in for a blood test, came home, played chauffer for two hours (making lengthy stops at two different retail “super centers”), took my wife out to lunch, came home, carried in two hundred and fifty dollars worth of miscellaneous do-dads from Target, assembled two floor lamps (twenty minutes each), cleaned up the mess from each box, emptied the drier, put away the clothes – and still my wife wanted to know what I had been doing all morning.

    AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!