• Second thoughts about gambling

    Over the last twenty-four hours, I’ve rethought my views on legalized gambling, although my plan goes much farther than any of the proposals thus far. If we are really interested in raising money for state government, things like education and health care for the needy, why should we allow a private company to take a share, when the whole take could go back to the good folks of the State of Florida? Rather than a Department of the Lottery, we could have a Department of Gaming. That’s right, I envision an entire slate of state run gambling, kind of like the state owned liquor stores in New Hampshire. Why stop with selling meager lotto tickets and taxing slot machines when we could have it all. Picture a state run casino, with tuxedo clad state employees, running blackjack tables, dealing high stakes poker, and jockeying the dice. In this age of recasting old, disagreeable practices, with new, more palatable names, we could discard the term “gambling” in favor of the “Voluntary Tax.” I can envision Voluntary Tax kiosks in the malls, self serve “Voluntary Tax stations” in high pedestrian traffic areas that accept all major credit cards, and authorized Voluntary Tax “resellers” at all of your favorite retailers. Just imagine going through your favorite fast food drive-thru, but instead of being asked if you want your value meal super-sized, you are asked if you would like to take the points on this week’s Bucs game.

  • To wash or not to wash

    Just what I need to admit, Cheryl will be so proud, every man, woman and child will be impressed,

    I didn’t take a shower today.

    No, I’m not playing semantics. I didn’t take a bath either. I didn’t swab down with wet wipes. I didn’t take a sponge bath. I didn’t take a spit bath, a la the common house cat. I did nothing whatsoever to improve my outward cleanliness in the last twenty-four hours. Emerging from the house late in the afternoon, someone might have asked me if I was using hair-gel. “Why no, that’s just the way it looks when I don’t wash it.”

    The beauty of this arrangement is that hygiene planets are aligned for a very dirty run. My sinuses are not getting along right now. When they’re not happy I have no sense of smell. When I have no sense of smell, I have no personal investment in the “wash/don’t wash” debate. Further, Cheryl and I are operating on separate shifts; part of our second child savvy approach to a full night’s sleep, despite a newborn under the roof. When there are no adult senses of smell in the room, does a dirty man’s body produce a smell?

    Now it’s just a matter whether my time is valuable enough to spend it in the shower. To borrow a query from management types everywhere, “What is the value added?”

  • An ad campaign that counts on the viewer’s stupidity

    If you decide to vote this November (I’m talking to you, 49%), you’ll be asked to make a decision about gambling. Yes, gambling rears it’s ugly face in Florida politics once again this year. This time, pro-gambling forces are making a play for a foot in the door – rather than the heretofore-unsuccessful full frontal assault.

    Here’s the ballot language (courtesy of Vote Smart Florida):
    “Authorizes Miami-Dade and Broward Counties to hold referenda on whether to authorize slot machines in existing, licensed pari-mutuel facilities (thoroughbred and harness racing, greyhound racing, and jai alai) that have conducted live racing or games in that county during each of the last two calendar years before effective date of this amendment. The Legislature may tax slot machine revenues, and any such taxes must supplement public education funding statewide. Requires implementing legislation.”

    Here’s what the folks supporting the amendment have to say about why you should vote ‘yes’ (www.yesforlocalcontrol.com/):
    “Yes on Amendment 4: When it comes to increasing education funding through the regulation and taxation of slot machines… Shouldn’t You Have the Right to Decide?”

    I know what you are thinking, “Gambling may not be the best thing to have in my backyard, but who can say no to more education spending.” Being against more education funding is kind of like being pro-drunk driving. There may be a few out there who feel that way, but not many of them will admit it publicly.

    Now, here’s a history lesson, courtesy of yours truly. Citizens amended the Florida Constitution on Election Day in November 1986. This amendment allowed for the creation of a Florida Lottery. Then, as now, the carrot swung before the voter’s eyes was additional funding for education. Chapter 24 of the Florida Statutes covers the lottery, based on the constitutional amendment passed in 1986. Here’s what it says:
    24.102 Purpose and intent.–
    (1) The purpose of this act is to implement s. 15, Art. X of the State Constitution in a manner that enables the people of the state to benefit from significant additional moneys for education and also enables the people of the state to play the best lottery games available.

    Notice the subtle use of the word “additional” in the statute? Now ask your local state representative how much “additional money” from the lottery goes to education. It is widely known that the legislature has been much more familiar with the phrase “in place of” since 1986 when the “Education Lottery” amendment was passed.

    If you think gambling should be legal, vote for the amendment. But let’s be honest, this amendment will ultimately have about as much to do with education as this web site.

    Fool me twice? I don’t think so.