• Please don’t feed the ego

    Who among you knew that I was a great husband? Lest you doubt me, I have proof. Today I was in the maternity store in the mall buying nursing bras for my wife. If that were not proof enough, listen to this,

    I had several intelligent questions for the clerk regarding size and style, and I knew the correct responses regarding nursing pads (not disposable, white, no lace). It was a small shop and there were several women in attendance. After my interaction with the clerk was complete, the women in the store all stopped what they were doing and broke out into spontaneous applause. Several commented that I must be a wonderful husband.

    “Why?” I asked this random sample of womanhood.

    “Because I couldn’t get my husband in here if a model stripped naked on the counter and shouted ‘come hither.’”

    ** Full disclosure: I made up the bit about the applause.

  • The best

    It was the second day of life for my second child. I was lying down on the “daddy cot” in my wife’s room at the hospital. My newborn child was lying on my chest, peacefully sleeping away the first hours of his life. A visitor was there and remarked, “these are the best days of Adam’s life.”

    I have this terrible contrarian streak in me, so naturally my mind leapt into action. There I was, having a moment with my child, and someone suggests the child has it good? While this could be interpreted as a supreme compliment for yours truly, I was bound and determined to prove the contrarian position… if only to myself.

    You watch your wife experience the worst pain of her life, completely helpless to do anything about it yourself, and the contrarian in you might be easily aroused too.

    Anyway, back to the original topic, why was it this was the best time in Adam’s life? No responsibility? No worries? I’ll grant you that, but what about the helplessness? Do you normally get all worked up over something as simple as the need to go to the bathroom? Do you pitch a fit every time you get a little hungry? (No, that is not an invitation for comment, Cheryl.) That moment I had on the bed with my child, I didn’t have a care in the world. I knew the meaning of love and I sensed it from several sources, in several varieties. I knew the reassurance of independence and self-reliance. And on top of it all, in that moment with my second child, I didn’t have a care in the world. It was one of the best times of my life.

    In short, there are times when I’ve got it pretty good too.

  • Delivery

    At 1:38 p.m. a painful, yet blessedly brief chapter in Cheryl’s life came to a close. Adam Kauffman was born. After witnessing the pain, the fatigue, and the fear of childbirth, Adam’s emergence into our world brought tears to my eyes. To see a child being born is to see an epic struggle. In this case it was Cheryl versus the pain and the keeper of the painkillers. Cheryl ultimately lost to the keepers of the drugs, but she beat the pain. She wouldn’t admit it if you asked her, so don’t ask her. Take my word for it. Because of her efforts we have what every new parent dreams of: a healthy child.

    Thank you Cheryl.