• An ad campaign that counts on the viewer’s stupidity

    If you decide to vote this November (I’m talking to you, 49%), you’ll be asked to make a decision about gambling. Yes, gambling rears it’s ugly face in Florida politics once again this year. This time, pro-gambling forces are making a play for a foot in the door – rather than the heretofore-unsuccessful full frontal assault.

    Here’s the ballot language (courtesy of Vote Smart Florida):
    “Authorizes Miami-Dade and Broward Counties to hold referenda on whether to authorize slot machines in existing, licensed pari-mutuel facilities (thoroughbred and harness racing, greyhound racing, and jai alai) that have conducted live racing or games in that county during each of the last two calendar years before effective date of this amendment. The Legislature may tax slot machine revenues, and any such taxes must supplement public education funding statewide. Requires implementing legislation.”

    Here’s what the folks supporting the amendment have to say about why you should vote ‘yes’ (www.yesforlocalcontrol.com/):
    “Yes on Amendment 4: When it comes to increasing education funding through the regulation and taxation of slot machines… Shouldn’t You Have the Right to Decide?”

    I know what you are thinking, “Gambling may not be the best thing to have in my backyard, but who can say no to more education spending.” Being against more education funding is kind of like being pro-drunk driving. There may be a few out there who feel that way, but not many of them will admit it publicly.

    Now, here’s a history lesson, courtesy of yours truly. Citizens amended the Florida Constitution on Election Day in November 1986. This amendment allowed for the creation of a Florida Lottery. Then, as now, the carrot swung before the voter’s eyes was additional funding for education. Chapter 24 of the Florida Statutes covers the lottery, based on the constitutional amendment passed in 1986. Here’s what it says:
    24.102 Purpose and intent.–
    (1) The purpose of this act is to implement s. 15, Art. X of the State Constitution in a manner that enables the people of the state to benefit from significant additional moneys for education and also enables the people of the state to play the best lottery games available.

    Notice the subtle use of the word “additional” in the statute? Now ask your local state representative how much “additional money” from the lottery goes to education. It is widely known that the legislature has been much more familiar with the phrase “in place of” since 1986 when the “Education Lottery” amendment was passed.

    If you think gambling should be legal, vote for the amendment. But let’s be honest, this amendment will ultimately have about as much to do with education as this web site.

    Fool me twice? I don’t think so.

  • Please don’t feed the ego

    Who among you knew that I was a great husband? Lest you doubt me, I have proof. Today I was in the maternity store in the mall buying nursing bras for my wife. If that were not proof enough, listen to this,

    I had several intelligent questions for the clerk regarding size and style, and I knew the correct responses regarding nursing pads (not disposable, white, no lace). It was a small shop and there were several women in attendance. After my interaction with the clerk was complete, the women in the store all stopped what they were doing and broke out into spontaneous applause. Several commented that I must be a wonderful husband.

    “Why?” I asked this random sample of womanhood.

    “Because I couldn’t get my husband in here if a model stripped naked on the counter and shouted ‘come hither.’”

    ** Full disclosure: I made up the bit about the applause.

  • The best

    It was the second day of life for my second child. I was lying down on the “daddy cot” in my wife’s room at the hospital. My newborn child was lying on my chest, peacefully sleeping away the first hours of his life. A visitor was there and remarked, “these are the best days of Adam’s life.”

    I have this terrible contrarian streak in me, so naturally my mind leapt into action. There I was, having a moment with my child, and someone suggests the child has it good? While this could be interpreted as a supreme compliment for yours truly, I was bound and determined to prove the contrarian position… if only to myself.

    You watch your wife experience the worst pain of her life, completely helpless to do anything about it yourself, and the contrarian in you might be easily aroused too.

    Anyway, back to the original topic, why was it this was the best time in Adam’s life? No responsibility? No worries? I’ll grant you that, but what about the helplessness? Do you normally get all worked up over something as simple as the need to go to the bathroom? Do you pitch a fit every time you get a little hungry? (No, that is not an invitation for comment, Cheryl.) That moment I had on the bed with my child, I didn’t have a care in the world. I knew the meaning of love and I sensed it from several sources, in several varieties. I knew the reassurance of independence and self-reliance. And on top of it all, in that moment with my second child, I didn’t have a care in the world. It was one of the best times of my life.

    In short, there are times when I’ve got it pretty good too.