Water cooler talk around the Sunshine State has endured a shift of tidal proportions. Gone are the days when men could congregate in the workplace and fancy themselves better suited to make football decisions than the guy that’s paid millions to do the job. Instead, men and women alike are questioning the judgment of the folks over at the National Hurricane Center. “You know Jim; I have to agree with Regina. The NHC is full of shit; and you all know it. That center of high pressure is going to be stronger than they think, forcing Jeanne well to the left of the projected track. Just look what happened to Ivan and Charley. They couldn’t predict a fart in a Tex-Mex joint.”

I for one hold Jim Cantore (and his ilk) personally responsible.

Anyone wishing to join our office “Jeanne Landfall Pool” can contact Howard, at (728) 555-5149.

Author’s note: all names and phone numbers in this entry were made up. Well, except for Jim Cantore, The NHC, and Jeanne – they’re all real; although I may have misspelled Jim’s name.

The preceding is a caricature of my co-worker’s opinions, and does not necessarily reflect the position of the author. The author wishes to state that he holds the good folks at the NHC in the highest regard. Further, I do not mean to make light of those affected by the storms, which have done so many so much harm.

Surely you’ve had those moments when you question your own sanity? This past week I’ve wondered if I’m one of those people that become the poster children for gun control. “He was such a quiet young man. We never would have expected he was capable of this,.”

It’s really a wonder that Cheryl’s family put up with me so graciously this week. Boy was I in a foul mood. There were times I swore I would snap if I heard the words “, but we could still get the outer bands (of Hurricane Ivan),.” The truth of the matter is that I am sick and tired of hearing about tropical weather systems. Previously unknown meteorological terms have become daily talking points. Two months ago, if someone said “trough” I would have immediately thought of farm animals, not steering currents for weather patterns.

Local weather personalities have gained the following once reserved for contestants on American Idol. Local news channels have gleefully found a new topic to whip the masses into a hysterical frenzy. No station is too small to have their own “man on the scene” at the suspected point of landfall. No phrase is too inflammatory to serve the public’s “need to know.” There is no question that hurricanes are serious threats that need to be taken very seriously. At the same time, do you suppose we could dispense with the accompanying dramatic, original soundtrack on the local news? That kind of news is serious all by itself. It does not require hype.

With all of my ranting about local news coverage, you’d think I would stop watching. If only that damned theme music wasn’t so enticing,