• Diving deep

    I was recruited to serve on a secret task force within the Central Intelligence Agency. I was asked to join before I knew exactly what I was agreeing to, but I did so anyway. All I knew was that I would have to quit my job with the State of Florida. No problem, or so I thought. I was immediately whisked away to an office building. There was a comfortable looking couch inside and I was told to lie down and get some sleep. For reasons unknown I didn’t, but that was just as well. Within minutes the rest of the team assembled and a person of authority stepped forward. He told us that we would be trained to go without sleep. He told us we would learn the ancient Chinese secret to breathing under water. He demonstrated these skills by having an assistant open up a fire hose in his face. The muscles in his neck tensed as the roaring stream of water hit his face and went everywhere. Even in a dream, this seemed like an odd way to demonstrate breathing under water. The hose was shut off and he asked who would like go next. I decided I had made a mistake, but I was told that few people survived resignation from “the company.”

    “I still work for the state, I still work for the state,.”

    It was really dark in the room. The only thing visible was a glowing set of numbers which read: 1:44 a.m.

    What? You’ve never had a dream where you are recruited to work as a spy, been offered training for something that is physically impossible, and later wished you still had your job in state government? Why isn’t the gold standard good enough for me? Why aren’t I dreaming about roaming the school halls in my skivvies, late for the final exams that I haven’t studied for?

  • Because he can

    Ralph Nader has announced his candidacy for the office of Democratic Party presidential spoiler. He is running his campaign as the incumbent, and he is running unopposed. He has been asked repeatedly why he is running, and he has repeatedly denied he is running as a spoiler. Supposedly, he fancies himself the man “to bring the Democratic Party back to the left.” The message to his supporters has been: “why not give them a little scare before you vote for them (the Democrats) in November.” The unspoken message is: “why not massage my ego for a little while before you vote for them in November.”

    How many of you out there doubt that the Nader campaign is getting donations from registered Republicans? How many of you out there really think those Republican donors have any intention of voting for Nader? If you were a left leaning voter considering a vote for Nader, wouldn’t the support of Nader by a few generous Republican donors make you think twice?

  • Remember when our worst problem was a loose zipper?

    Even a partisan Dem such as me can appreciate the lost opportunities of the 1990s. Well, ‘ole Bill has released a book, and he was giving an interview on NPR this morning. I did not find myself waxing sentimental over the 1990s. I did not wonder if Bill and the gang would have done a better job under the circumstances of the last four years. What did strike me was how intelligent, well informed, and well spoken he sounded. Things sure have changed.

    Are you old enough to remember the days when mediocrity was not a virtue?

    (My sense of irony is tingling like a limb that has fallen asleep.)