• Because he can

    Ralph Nader has announced his candidacy for the office of Democratic Party presidential spoiler. He is running his campaign as the incumbent, and he is running unopposed. He has been asked repeatedly why he is running, and he has repeatedly denied he is running as a spoiler. Supposedly, he fancies himself the man “to bring the Democratic Party back to the left.” The message to his supporters has been: “why not give them a little scare before you vote for them (the Democrats) in November.” The unspoken message is: “why not massage my ego for a little while before you vote for them in November.”

    How many of you out there doubt that the Nader campaign is getting donations from registered Republicans? How many of you out there really think those Republican donors have any intention of voting for Nader? If you were a left leaning voter considering a vote for Nader, wouldn’t the support of Nader by a few generous Republican donors make you think twice?

  • Remember when our worst problem was a loose zipper?

    Even a partisan Dem such as me can appreciate the lost opportunities of the 1990s. Well, ‘ole Bill has released a book, and he was giving an interview on NPR this morning. I did not find myself waxing sentimental over the 1990s. I did not wonder if Bill and the gang would have done a better job under the circumstances of the last four years. What did strike me was how intelligent, well informed, and well spoken he sounded. Things sure have changed.

    Are you old enough to remember the days when mediocrity was not a virtue?

    (My sense of irony is tingling like a limb that has fallen asleep.)

  • Panic in the break room

    John Kauffman, defender of virtue, mentor to the inexperienced, and wellspring of knowledge, was having a bad day. Witness his innocent looking trip to the break room. Suffering from a shortage of “get up and go”, our hero went foraging for coins to appease the vending machine gods. After a fruitless search, our hero discovered a dollar bill in the most unlikely of places, his wallet. Knowing that the vending machine gods were unforgiving to those without exact change, our frugal hero found someone willing to exchange their change for his bill.

    Enter the break room.

    Our hero laid his coins upon their altar and prayed for relief. As many can attest, the vending machine gods can be a mischievous lot. Our hero watched intently as the machine stirred with life. But just as it appeared they would answer his prayer, the machine stopped short of sharing the fruit of its bounty. Our hero was crushed with despair, but thankfully it was merely a ruse to keep him on his toes. Just as he was about to give up hope the machine shared a Twix bar from its basket of plenty. A metallic clang announced the end of hunger; and with it the beginning of a new era of satisfaction, contentment and productivity.