• Oh, not this again.

    What fiscal quarter would be complete without a discussion about money. It just so happens that we got ours out of the way early this time. It is, after all, the start of the new fiscal quarter.

    Cheryl wants to get a van. Mind you, we’re right there in the fiscal margin as it is. The last thing in the world we need right now, fiscally speaking (besides two more kids in day care), is a bigger car payment. The van talk hasn’t gotten serious yet, but that’s of little comfort. Major purchase talk takes off like nobody’s business when it reaches a critical mass, a point from which we may not be all that far. Lord, grant me the strength to say “no.” Then again, the secret may be avoiding The Showroom. One may fairly speculate about pheromones hidden in that “new car smell.” Maybe this is obvious to you, but I’m a little slow on the uptake… could it be that this is the real reason dealerships are in the “service” game? Maybe it’s not because servicing cars is profitable in and of itself, but because it brings people through the showroom on a periodic basis. I can see the research paper now… “A comparison of new car buying habits between those tied to the dealership for service and those with independent mechanics.” I’ll bet there’s even grant money available!

    Oh, to be suitably qualified or motivated. Then again, maybe it’s not such
    good idea.

  • Stepping out of character.

    This was the weekend that I blew up my perspective of self. I spent a good chunk of Saturday pressure washing the driveway and back patio. For a few hours I morphed into someone who takes pride in outward appearances. A word of warning to those of you who may live in mildew prone areas… there is a point at which mildew won’t easily come off a concrete slab if left on too long. I have come to this conclusion without using good scientific methodology, so it is a bit suspect. None the less, we let it go for about six years (prior to Saturday’s cleaning) and we still have a driveway that Cheryl won’t let Beth walk barefoot on. Pity our poor Beth, she is the victim in this story.

  • Deceit as sport.

    What other day do we have a free pass to deceive? For the first time in my post college, full time working life, I pulled a prank on my coworkers. I hadn’t planned to do anything to observe April Fools Day. Instead, inspiration came in a flash. Everyone in my office has been discussing the difficulties we’re having with another state agency that provides a service for our local office. One hot topic has been the speculation that this agency would pull out of their contract. Using this knowledge, along with a deft hand at forging the style of a head office memo, I crafted a phony message from on high. It went something like this… “DID YOU KNOW that, effective April 1, 2004; the (state agency omitted) has decided to pull out of their contract to provide (omitted) services for the Child Support Enforcement Program.”

    One problem I faced pulling this off was one of delivery. I could not fake the sender on an email message, which is the usual means of sharing this kind of information; so I decided to distribute hard copies via inner office mail. In order to overcome the possible suspiciousness regarding the delivery, I seeded the memo only to those that I thought I would get an immediate reaction out of. My idea was that this initial burst of emotion from a select few would overcome any initial tendency towards suspicion in any of my more level headed coworkers. It worked like a charm. One person retrieved the message from the mail and an impromptu meeting immediately convened in my boss’ office. There was a little bit of swearing, there was a little bit of shouting. It almost worked too good. My boss was reeled in, then my boss’ boss was reeled in. Everyone came down to my office (mine is on the opposite end of our suite from my boss’ office) to discuss the memo. In my best deadpan, I asked when this change was supposed to be effective. “Today!”, they replied. “You mean April first?”, I asked. “Well, yeah… it’s… DID YOU DO THIS!?! APRIL FOOLS!?! OH MY GOD DID YOU HAVE US GOING! THAT WAS CLASSIC!”

    Hysterical laughter ensued, followed by a good twenty minutes of cool down and good cheer.

    I still can’t believe I actually did it.