• Automation

    Today I submitted my first request to the “All Mighty Review Board” to create an office automation tool. It was quite a thrill. I don’t know about you but I rarely have such a sense of acheivement as when I submit a form. Ah, to think that I’ve brought another piece of paper into the world makes the bureaucrat in me glow.

    But set aside the sarcasm for a moment…

    I’m not really big on credit. One look at my bank statement would reveal me as a liar, if that were the kind of credit I was referring to. No, I’m talking about recognition for achievements. I don’t think I’ve been the kind of person that has sought out recognition for the contributions I’ve made at the office. However, there is something about me suggesting an idea for an office automation tool, someone else developing it (when I could have done it myself, perhaps better if history holds true), and that someone else getting credit for it that just rubs me the wrong way. Is it wrong of me to let this bother me?

  • Trouble at work.

    I am a tinkerer that had his license to tinker taken away, but I am not alone. What the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about using the tools available to us in the modern, computerized world. I’m talking about increasing efficiency through automation. I’m talking about one person’s attempts to make his office a more productive place and an administration with a policy of “no.”

    I am faced with a delema. I am faced with two basic choices: to play by the rules or not. I can play the “don’t ask, don’t tell” game and continue to try to improve my work unit’s efficiency in annonymity; or, I can play by the rules. The rules are thus: don’t automate anything on your own; if you have an idea for automation let us (a comittee) know and we may or may not do it for you – at some point. People like me cease to be involved once we submit the idea. We have to rely on someone else to do it. It appears we are emerging from a golden age at my office, entering another age entirely. For the past six or seven years I have been free to automate tasks in my office as I saw fit. I saw something ripe for automation and I did it. The powers that be asked us to work smarter and I think we did just that. We were a well oiled, enthusiastic, and involved part of the process. We saw potential improvements and we made them. Much of that ends today. Because some individuals around the state that have reeked havoc everyone is being asked to dumb it down. I am a three time winner of a statewide award for productivity in state government. Two times my coworkers have voted for those they felt deserved monetary awards for their diligence and hard work – and two times I have been among those selected to receive such an award. Several months ago everyone was asked to submit their automation tools for review and many were placed on a forbidden list, but none of them were mine. Despite all of this, my employer has given me a clear message, “thanks but no thanks.”

    Lying just isn’t my thing (even lying by omission), so as tempting as it is to sneak around I’ve got to play by the rules. But where does that leave me now? The longer I think about this the more I think of all the little tweaks I make to the tools we use. The longer I think about this the more I think of all the tools I’ve needed to tweak. Both lists are getting longer and the weekend is still young. One thing keeps coming to mind, I’m not allowed to do it any more. A stupid little change that could take me ten minutes… it’ll take me that long just to fill out the damn form requesting the change! God knows how long it will take the “review board” to debate the change and actually implement the change… if they decide it’s in my best interest to have the change. The ultimate insult is that they won’t trust me to update my own tool, even if they do approve the change. I can’t even begin to explain how that makes me feel. Disappointed? Disillusioned? Betrayed? Depressed? Useless? Demoralized? Unwanted?

    I was sitting in an office this afternoon with two of the senior managers. We were discussing my automation issues, and try as they might there just wasn’t any encouraging news about these changes that they could offer. As the meeting unfolded I found myself becoming increasing detached. In the course of two hours I was sapped of my enthusiasm for my work. I was left to stare, glassy eyed out the window as the discussion continued. I am hoping that things will seem different by Monday, but tonight? If I had another X chromosome I think I would have a good cry. Well, us XY folks are stuck with our emotions bottled up so we can stew on them for a while. I can’t wait.

  • Labels.

    Last year our daughter’s school suggested testing for intelligence. They offered to test her to determine if it would be appropriate to place her in the Gifted Program. Cheryl was all for it. I wasn’t so sure.

    How much harm does it do a child to be labeled? Does it matter if the label is good or bad? Is the end result the same? Are expectations placed on someone that may not be appropriate or to the child’s benefit?

    Well, Beth was tested and apparently she tests REALLY well. Now she’s in the Gifted Program. In fact she’s gifted among the gifted. Based on her test results her teachers claim to have one explanation for some of her odd behavior. Before, her behavior was a distraction and a cause for concern. Now it’s still a distraction, but rather than a cause for concern it’s just an eccentricity of an intelligent child.

    In the meantime, the behavior continues.

    We visited her teacher today for a conference before school. Her teacher was concerned, but not about her academics. She was concerned about how she related to the other kids. She is worried her behavior has isolated her from the other kids. They notice she is different and treat her differently, and not in a good way. She’s not making friends. She tries to interact, but she tends to be avoided.

    I worry because it fits. I see Beth taking with other kids in church, and I see the same indifference in the other children’s faces. Although Beth sometimes talks about “all of the friends I have,” I see her compensating. She does have a couple friends around the neighborhood. But, I also see her after school… in tears because she wants to go somewhere else where she can make new friends. What do I tell her, that it may not be any different somewhere else? Do I try to tell her she’ll get past it all, even if I know from my own experience it may not be true?

    She excels in school academically so they will not help with the behavior. Insurance concedes it’s a real problem but insists that it’s a “long term” problem, making it ineligible for coverage. Lest you scoff in disbelief, let me reassure you this is really the reason for non-coverage. To paraphrase their denial letter… “coverage for therapy shall only be approved if the condition will show significant improvement within the first eight weeks of treatment.” Translation… if it is a short term problem that you probably could have paid for on your own anyway we’ll cover it, if not you’re on your own.

    In the meantime the behavior continues.

    I don’t feel like a “victim of the system.” I don’t feel an overwhelming sense of entitlement to services we’re not getting. I’m just a frustrated parent who doesn’t have all of the answers. I’m just a saddened parent who can’t always take away my child’s pain.

    No Beth, daddy doesn’t know everything. I’m so sorry.