• Missing you.

    “Mommy, I want Cory to sleep over again sometime.”
    “Well Beth, I’m not sure Cory likes sleeping over here.”
    “Why mommy?”
    “I think he may miss his mommy and daddy too much.”
    “Why? When I sleep over at Memmay and Peppey’s house I don’t miss you guys.”

    “John, I could use some help right now.”
    “Yeah, I just wanted to write something down really quick.”

    Another example of a child’s enduring love for their parents.

  • Flood recovery.

    The last remaining vestiges of the great family room flood are gone. Forty or so square feet of carpet and padding is gone. In it’s place rests brand new, self adhesive, square, fake ceramic, laminate tile. Yes, it is everything it sounds like and more. No, there is no danger of my becoming the spokesperson for Armstrong laminate tile.

    In a move that was designed solely to shock my wife, I finished the flooring and did our taxes in a single afternoon. Cheryl’s faith in the natural order of things has been shattered. My only mistake was in showing just what I am capable of doing in a single afternoon. That kind of information should be held back in the even of an emergency. You can’t put that genie back in the bottle. Expectations are a heavy burden, and I’ve unwittingly upped the ante.

    What a fool I’ve been.

  • What’s wrong with the sock drawer?

    The other night Beth was coming out of the bathroom with her towel wrapped tightly around her chest. This new found modesty was a little refreshing, so of course we had to say something about it. Beth’s reply was a little odd: “I don’t want anyone to see my nickels.”

    “NICKELS? What are you doing with nickels under your towel?” I replied.

    “What, doesn’t everyone have nickels?”, was Beth’s confused retort.

    Any one reading this from out there in the cheap seats probably already knows what was going on. For whatever reason, I was a little slow on the uptake. And no, her comment had nothing to do with money. Regardless of how this reads, or how unlikely it may seem, you are just going to have to trust me that this was very funny when it happened. Anytime you can laugh at yourself things must be reasonably o.k.