The house is quiet at four o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. Cheryl and Beth have gone shopping and I am home alone. The end credits began to roll on a movie on cable and I switched the TV off. The sun is shining on the first full day of day-light savings time, but all the blinds are closed. It isn’t completely dark though; the light shining between the blinds keeps the house in a twilight glow. The whispering hum of my computer’s fan can be heard from across the room. The air is slightly warm but the wood floor feels cool under my bare feet. Time marches on with the steady wandering of my mind on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

In my wanderings, I see parents who are sent to jail for not paying child support. They are given a sentence, but with a catch. They are given the “keys to their own cell.” The court makes a determination as to their immediate ability to pay. This “ability to pay” is the “key”. An example might be a term of 30 days in jail OR a payment of $100. The idea is that this is money readily available to them, so they only sit in jail as long as they refuse to pay. Not only did one such individual not pay, and do the full jail term, he followed it up with a courtesy call to the local Child Support Enforcement office, “I just sat in jail for 30 days instead of paying.” You may be asking yourself, what could he have been ordered to pay to get himself out? It turns out he was only ordered to pay the $20 he came to court with. He kept that folded twenty dollar bill in his pocket for 30 days rather than pay it towards his child support. This is why I have a job. This is why many government agencies exist; and however unfortunate, may continue to exist for some time.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to court we go!

Last night I watched a news program intending to explain the circumstances leading to the terrorist attacks of September 2001. As I watched the program I learned several things, but more importantly – I was inspired. I was inspired by possibilities. I was inspired by the seemingly credible hope that better things may be possible. I was grateful for this, but I was also jealous. Here was someone with a gift, a real gift. He has been blessed with the ability to teach and to inspire. It’s not so much that he can make some difference in the world, but that he can make a difference in individual’s lives. I do believe that everyone can make a difference, even me. However, his gift is not mine. No matter how much I want to enrich the lives of others, I won’t have the same success. It’s silly, it’s futile, and it’s not productive, but I feel a little smaller as a result.