We’re still waiting for our bed. Cheryl is excited. I am … not exactly excited. Intrigued is a word. Cautious is another word. Skeptical is yet another word. If you put all of those words together … you still don’t quite have what I feel. It’s not all bad. I kind of feel like I just spent two times the market value of a car loaded with extras, to be used as a third car in a two driver household. It was expensive, it looks cool, and I’m afraid we won’t get as much use out of it as we would like. For the price we paid, I feel like it should wash its own sheets, tuck us in at night, and sing us a lullaby. Instead, it promises to feel like I’m sleeping in a John mold.

Cheryl and I went out and parted with serious money today. This was engine replacement serious. No, we aren’t having more trouble with our cars. If we were I’d sooner take the bus than replace an engine. We went out and bought a bed, and in the unlikeliest of places (for me anyway): Brookstone. I’ve been to Brookstone many times, but I never seriously thought about buying something there. I always thought of Brookstone as a kind of brick and mortar infomercial. Looking at bed in the store, I was just waiting for a sales man to walk up to me with a wireless mike and say, “IT NEVER NEEDS TURNING. IT NEVER NEEDS FLIPPING. JUST PUT IT IN YOUR BEDROOM AND NEVER HAVE A BAD NIGHT’S SLEEP AGAIN. IT’S JUST THAT SIMPLE. AND WHEN YOU BUY ONE OF OUR BEDS, YOU’LL GET AN ALLERGY COVER FOR FREE. THAT’S RIGHT, YOU’LL GET EVERYTHING YOU SEE HERE FOR ONLY $2400.00.” ALL CAPS is meant to signify a middle aged man speaking in a near shout, like he’s trying to speak to you over a loud stereo – without the stereo. The metaphor would be perfect, were it not for the price. No, this bed does not come at some bargain price (plus 95 cents). The sticker price is a little shocking, space age technology or not. So what is it that I’m talking about? It’s the Tempur-pedic mattress, the only bed with “memory foam” developed by NASA for use in spacecraft. You lay on it and it holds its shape (for a while), like laying down in a custom mold you make every night. Sound comfortable? I guess we’ll find out.