Being Myself

In between hearings the Judge said he worried about the future of our country (referring to the election), adding, “I don’t know how long the top thirty percent can continue to support the other seventy.”

I replied (with a mischievous smile), “well speaking for the seventy percent: we thank you.”

That didn’t earn me any points. And because I seem to like really deep holes, I kept talking.

“What scares me is the health care system. Say I decide to change jobs and my new job has benefits just as good as this one, but the health plan has a one year exclusion on pre-existing conditions (like my current job - which has pretty good benefits). What happens if my leukemia comes back during that year? I’d be ruined.”

“I don’t mean to sound like I don’t care John, but you’re not entitled to health care.”

“Why not? And either way, what difference does it make? Does the constitution guarantee public education or public roads?”

“You’re not entitled to roads to drive on either….”

“Yeah, but as a society we’ve decided those things we want to pay for….”

I was all set to launch into a whole spiel on tax policy, but I got a message the next group was ready for their hearing and the day moved on. It’s a good thing the Judge is someone I consider a friend. I’m a shy guy who usually doesn’t have much to say in social settings, so why do I feel compelled to speak up every time politics comes up - no matter how much trouble it could get me in?

The short answer is: I’m not as smart as my kids think I am.

This started out as a follow-up comment to my post with the Florida/CNN map, but I thought I’d let this one try to stand on it’s own. If you’re a McCain supporter you might think this is just piling on, but that’s not the intent at all. This little post is for me and my kids. It’s not just for today, but years from now.

Today was a great day. EARLY this morning I had trouble turning off the television or putting away my computer. I’d see the celebrations in Chicago, D.C., New York, or any one of countless places around the world, and my breath would catch in my throat - turning into a joyous chuckle. I imagine if you were standing on the other side of a closed door you’d think I was a crazy person. Maybe you think that anyway….

Then a little later this morning (after a few hours of sleep) I made my way into work. We were all incredibly tired… but it didn’t matter. Everyone was grinning. The office was filled with high-fives and big smiles all day. I’ve still got a silly grin on my face now, going on 10 p.m., and I’m not sure it’s completely sunk in yet.

Barack won.

Everyone I spoke to today gets it. The history. The hope. The promise.

It was incredible.

How worried was I?

I had a redirect page ready to go.

It’s after 2 a.m. and yes, I’m obviously still up. I can’t seem to close the lid on my PowerBook. The house has finally gone dark, save for the glow of my favorite computer.

Despite the polls I was having a hard time believing Florida could go blue this year. But here you have it from CNN:

If you look at the little peninsula under the “m” in Tampa on the map, you’ll be looking at Pinellas County. Hillsborough, the county immediately to the east, went for Obama by a narrow margin (one or two points the last time I checked). My Pinellas peeps favored Obama by nine points. I’m officially surprised.

I’m also a little surprised by the results in Orange and Osceola Counties, the patch of blue just east of Hillsborough, in the middle of the state. If I recall, Orange County was a pretty close split in 2004, but I have a hard time not seeing it as pretty damn conservative - my impression from living over there for a year in the mid-1990s. We lived there during the 1994 mid-terms, and I remember a lot of celebration over the GOP take over of congress. That, and it seemed the local news was REALLY in the tank for the GOP. Did you see that youtube video of an Orlando station anchor asking Biden if Obama was a Marxist? It fit my image of Orlando news.

Ah, but the icing on the cake is hearing Tom Feeney lost his seat in the US House.

All in all a two point win statewide isn’t exactly a rousing endorsement from my fellow Floridians, but it’s enough to make me happy.

CNN calls it at 11 as the polls close out west. Cheryl’s been saying for two hours that she needed to go to bed… in twenty minute intervals. She’s still up. I can’t blame her. I’m projecting I’ll be awake for at least another couple hours.

Our long national nightmare is over. Say it with me. Barack Obama is going to be the next President of the United States. I can’t squeeze my wife because of the accident, so would any of stand in? I’m giving all of you a virtual hug.

I’m about to share an observation, but I’d like to admit up-front it probably means very little. It’s a few non-random samples I’ve picked up that I admit happen to fit my world view. Sue me.

I was driving home from court this week and I thought of my mother. She always liked driving along Alternate 19 where it runs along the shore, between Sunset Point in Clearwater and the Dunedin Marina. I don’t usually take that route home but I was feeling nostalgic. None of this has anything to do with the meat of the post, but that’s why you love me, right?

I was struck by the number of yards I saw with Obama signs. These are waterfront homes - big ones with big yards and spectacular sunset views of the water (only slightly obstructed by the passing cars). I’ve never been in the market for one of them so I can’t say for sure, but I think they’re worth a bundle… owned by those who make a bundle. Contrast that with my modest, middle class neighborhood. My house isn’t worth anything close to a bundle, and I have an income to match.

My little yard plays host to an awfully lonely Obama sign, almost lost in a sea of McCain/Palin followers.

You’ve probably seen what grandpa’s been saying about brother Barack… how he’s a pinko in a turban. Hell, his policy proposals are practically European (the undisputed black mark of US politics). So what is it with those fools on Bayshore? Don’t they know the “redistributionist-in-cheif”** wants to take away their homes and turn them into housing projects for the poor?

I was really tempted to throw in a paragraph about my peeps in the proletariat, but I think I’ll quit now while you’re still reading.

**Be honest. Is that the worst political ‘gotcha’ line ever written? The first word has more syllables than a lot of good lines.

A while back I talked about doing a little volunteering for the Obama campaign. You can probably tell from the title I decided to do it. It scared the crap out of me just like I thought it would. I’m not posting this to exaggerate my accomplishments. If you want to know the truth, I think I accomplished very little. I made a couple hours worth of phone calls spread out over a few days - mostly while I was waiting outside Beth’s Tae Kwon Do class… plus a few “get out the vote” calls to voters in Colorado this evening.

I asked Beth first, naturally (before skipping out on her classes). I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care about her anymore, but she was cool with it.

You know what’s been cool? Talking to friends about it… sharing my thoughts and my enthusiasm. One guy I talked to went down to the local campaign office the next day to volunteer. No, I don’t think he went down there just because of me, but I wonder if it was a little easier knowing someone else had done it too.

Now I just hope it’s not all in vain. It’s looking good so far, but I’m nowhere near done worrying. I can tell you this: if you’ve been hearing stories about long lines for early voting in Florida, they’re true (here anyway). An acquaintance went down to vote this afternoon and the wait was two hours. There’s an early voting location next to the old Clearwater courthouse, and when I was in court on Monday the line was out the building and around the corner. My coworkers in St Petersburg say the lines have been even longer near the courthouse there.

It’s been quite a thing to see. There’s been an excitement in the air I don’t remember from past elections. Dare I say it? I have hope.

Someone asked me the other day if Beth was in junior high. When I said yes, this person went on to share some of their horror stories about that age: boys pulling girl’s hair, the physical awkwardness, etc. I nodded my head, but I was thinking that was just the tip of a very large iceberg. To be fair, this person was just making small talk in passing, not engaging me in a serious, drawn out discussion about the human condition. I guess what I’m trying to say is this post is not meant to pick on this person… just that it stuck in my mind.

Yesterday Beth was allowed to wear her Halloween costume to school. It was a little small but she really wanted to wear it. She bought it last year but didn’t get to wear it because she got really sick.

She felt really good about herself until she got to school.

“What, are you supposed to be dressed as a janitor?”

Actually, she was dressed as a mission specialist for a shuttle mission. She’s always been fascinated by space, but she doesn’t think she has what it takes to be a pilot. She figured her ticket to space was as a scientist. She’s had it all worked out for some time, this one.

I tell her it’s not always going to be like this. Kids grow up to be (slightly) more secure adults who don’t feel the need to drag everyone else down to make them feel better. We grow up and grow a little less dependent on acceptance from everyone, learning the acceptance from a relative few we know, love and trust is enough. I tell her kids were mean when I was growing up too but things got better. I tell her there are lots of people who love and accept her: me, Cheryl, her brother (who adores her more than she can stand at times), her grandparents.

I can see the look in her eyes. She’s not completely convinced. I guess we do what we can and hope it’s enough.

I can still be surprised by things my daughter says, even after eleven years. Here’s a snippet of a conversation between Cheryl and Beth.

“You know Beth, in another six or seven years you may be living on your own.”

“Not in this economy. I wouldn’t be able to afford to live on my own.”

She may be gaining on Cheryl’s height as we watch, but she’s still that little girl with a squeaky voice in my heart and mind.