Beth

Little green ninja man

Everyone has their quirks. Me? I feel compelled to share my life with anyone who cares to read about it (which, admittedly, probably isn’t very many). By all accounts, Beth seems to be a budding conservationalist. Nothing she acquires, no matter how mundane or inherently disposable, can be thrown out without great deliberation. No resource, no matter how consumable or desired, may be finished off without gnashing of teeth. I don’t know how many times I’ve found cheap trinkets lying around, previously won for good behavior at a doctor’s visit. Then there is Beth’s love of M&M cookie ice cream sandwich treats. There are six such treats in a box, five of which disappeared in so many nights (they would have gone faster but her ogre like parents wouldn’t let her have more than one a night). The last one has been in our freezer for more than a week. Why, you may ask? Well, I asked Beth that question not too long ago. Her reply? “If I eat the last one then I won’t have any left.”

I am ashamed to admit that we have left Beth woefully unprepared for siblings. I am torn between my desire to respect Beth’s things and my sense of obligation to teach her the skills necessary to cope with a brother or a sister. If I don’t eat the last one, how will she learn that the early bird gets the worm, that if you snooze you loose, that the last one there gets a stale cookie for desert instead? Will she be the last kid her age on the block to learn that all important lesson: “the ice cube bin is always the first place they look.” Just what kind of example will she be for her younger sibling? Further complicating matters, that damn thing looks like it tastes REALLY good.

About author

Articles

I'm sorry but I can't sum me up in this limited amount of space. No, I take that back. I'm not sorry.