Well folks, the office water cooler chit chat round these parts has uncovered the root cause of all problems with politics in this country: too many layers of clothing.
Forget about olive branches, “reaching across the isle”, faux civility, and honest debate on the issues via sound byte. What we really want to see in Washington is a Capital Dress Down Day. If they want to connect with me on a personal level they should spend a day walking my shoes – or at least the same brand and style. Wouldn’t you take the folks in Washington more seriously if they didn’t take themselves so damn seriously? Picture a clip on the evening news where the Senate Majority Leader is addressing his charge on a serious matter, wearing a t-shirt and flip flops. If all those Washington newbies were serious about setting a new tone in Washington then maybe they should try something truly bold – banning all neckwear. That’s right, no more Italian silk ties for you mister speaker!
I’m not quite the fool you take me for. Casual clothing won’t solve all of our problems in Washington. Politicians would likely remain stuffed shirts, but without all those layers of clothing we’ll at least be able to see what those shirts are stuffed with. Brings a whole new meaning to “open government,” don’t it?
Thousands of years from now, when future societies try to understand the 21st century version of mankind, will they wonder why early men had such an obsession with slowly strangling to death? Will they wonder why superfluous, ornamental layers of clothing persisted in our culture for so long? Will they see the necktie as an instrument of submission, and conclude that our culture was really a matriarchy?